Klarinet Archive - Posting 001068.txt from 2004/03

From: "Sue Raycraft" <raycraft@-----.com>
Subj: Re: [kl] foul language
Date: Thu, 18 Mar 2004 06:38:48 -0500

> > If you tune out, that simply means you have already decided in your
> > mind that what the other person has to say is not worth hearing.

> No it is not a determination that what they have to say is not worth
> hearing. Instead it is a determination that too much time and effort is
> being expended to extract the intended message.

I guess I should have explained what I meant a little better than I did,
but I was in a hurry since I had a rehearsal to get to....had to go play
my CLARINET, ya know. :-)

I was thinking more along the lines of listening a child (I have a
ten-year-old who has to give me *every* little minute detail when
he tells me about something), or a senior citizen who just needs
someone to talk to, maybe even someone with a stutter or other
speech impediment...there are plenty of cases that I can think of
where it may seem like it takes "too much effort" to listen. Of
course that was not the subject we were on to begin with here,
but that was what I had in mind when I was talking about
being a good listener.

I still think there are people who may use an occasional cuss
word who are worth listening to though.

It all depends on the attitude that they have when they use it.
Nobody likes to hear a garbage mouth whose every other word
is a cuss word, I understand that...also I do understand that some
people just are not aware that they are boring their audience to tears.
And being preached at can be difficult to handle, too.

But I still think there is some kind of determination being made,
subconscious maybe, on the part of the listener (or reader),
as to whether it is worth the time and effort, and I can see how
that can tie in with being impatient.

Even if it seems boring or a waste of time, it may be doing the
other person a ton of good just to have someone listen to them.

Sue

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