Klarinet Archive - Posting 000628.txt from 2004/03

From: "Gary Drennan" <psa119@------.net>
Subj: Re: [kl] [clarinet] Lipstick and mp
Date: Thu, 11 Mar 2004 11:34:42 -0500

Lelia,

I too wonder what constitutes cork grease, but i wouldn't worry about it.
Bear in mind these undeniable scientific facts -

1. We don't need to worry about air pollution. Science has proven that
breathing an oxygen-nitrogen atmosphere is eventuallu fatal.

2. Saliva causes stomach cancer, but only when swallowed in small quantities
over an extended period of time.

3. Both doctors and clarinetists practice. When we do, we get better. When
they do, we get poorer.

Does anybody have any good clarinet puns?

Gary

----- Original Message -----
From: "Lelia Loban" <lelialoban@------.net>
To: <klarinet@------.org>
Sent: Thursday, March 11, 2004 7:17 AM
Subject: [kl] [clarinet] Lipstick and mp

> Anne Lenoir wrote,
> >I have not had "alligator lips" since Steve Hartman
> >turned me on to "Lipshtick". Apparently, a lot of
> >musicians in NYC use it. ANNIE
>
> Like a lot of the women responding on this thread, and probably a lot of
> female reed players in general, I don't wear lipstick. I keep a
> purse-sized tube of Vaseline in the rummage kit near my practice stand,
but
> when I finish practicing a with sore lip, instead of hunting around for
> that little tube, often as not I just pick up and use what's already in
> plain sight: the cork grease. Works fine.
>
> Usually I'm a stickler for cleanliness and product safety and all that
> jazz, but it doesn't often occur to me to wonder what cork grease is made
> of. It *looks* clean and it *tastes* clean, and the labels haven't got
any
> "Never, never, never put your fingers in your mouth after you grease your
> corks, or else you'll die twitching and foaming at the mouth" warnings,
and
> I think of cork grease as lip balm with a different label -- but none of
my
> cork grease has an ingredients list. Hmm, maybe I should wonder.
Rendered
> roadkill? Gleanings from fast food franchise waste fat barrels? Recycled
> gear lube?
>
> The sore lip is becoming a problem since my husband retired from the EPA
in
> December and opened a home business. I can't practice when I know anybody
> can hear me. He's home most of the time now. (Yeah, I know -- I'm nuts.
> It's not as if I'm playing anything anybody's itching to hear anyway. If
I
> did practice in my attic when he's down in his dungeon, he'd probably turn
> up his stereo in order *not* to hear me. But still....) I can practice
> piano (electronic) with earphones, but I'm getting grossly out of practice
> on wind instruments. Whenever I know he'll be gone for at least an hour,
I
> take out a clarinet or a saxophone, but since I'm not practicing regularly
> any more, I'm getting very well acquainted with alligator lips when I do
> put in a good session. Oh well. Less practice means less cork grease to
> ingest, right...?
>
> Lelia Loban
> E-mail: lelialoban@------.net
> Web site (original music scores as audio or print-out):
> http://members.sibeliusmusic.com/LeliaLoban
>
>
>
>
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