Klarinet Archive - Posting 000192.txt from 2004/03

From: "Lelia Loban" <lelialoban@------.net>
Subj: [kl] [OT] Announcement...Dont Amend Protest
Date: Wed, 3 Mar 2004 20:25:24 -0500


Andy Raibeck wrote,
>Easy: the clarinet is a hermaphrodite.>

I'm making my stupid pet human type this. Lelia thinks she fell asleep at
the computer, but I'm controlling her squishy gray brain. I have studied
this matter intently, and have concluded that the screech-stick, the
immature larva of the vac**m cl**ner demon, need not engage in sexual
reproduction as mammals understand the term. Some screech-sticks reproduce
themselves by parthenogenesis. Put one in a dark closet and in a few weeks
you may have two of the vermin, hooting and shrieking. The larva also
breed in the night, however, and a fully-grown vac**m cl**ner can pop out
half a dozen cl*r*nets in a single month, especially in summer.

Agatha Cat, one of the old cats who died years ago, told me that you can
prevent screech-sticks from breeding by peeing in their cases.
Unfortunately, Lelia never leaves the cases open, and as a general rule I
wouldn't lower myself to pee anywhere except my litter box -- but I may
have to test this remedy one day, probably in summer, when the
screech-sticks are most likely to multiply.

Sssssst!
Shadow Cat

E-mail: lelialoban@------.net