Klarinet Archive - Posting 000231.txt from 2004/02

From: "Dee D. Flint" <deehays@-----.net>
Subj: Re: [kl] How would you reply to this student?
Date: Sat, 14 Feb 2004 11:34:02 -0500

----- Original Message -----
From: "Kenneth Wolman" <kenneth.wolman@-----.net>
To: <klarinet@-----.org>
Sent: Saturday, February 14, 2004 10:22 AM
Subject: Re: [kl] How would you reply to this student?

> At 06:24 AM 2/14/2004, Tony Pay wrote:
> >In message <001401c3f245$481e5b00$1202a8c0@DELL> you wrote:
> >
> > > This student is 24 years old - An Adult beginner who played for 2
> > > years in High School and started up again this past Sept.
> >
> >Perhaps
> >the mechanism is, they see that you're being a bit stiff with him in your
> >own reply, and anyway think of you as quite generous; and so they
incorporate
> >a rather negative assessment of the student's probable character into the
> >fact that you posted the exchange in the first place.
> >
> >Then, supporting you amounts to slagging him off (and he can't see that
> >slagging off, so no harm done), so it's another opportunity to let off
the
> >usual steam about 'them', and how terrible they are.
>
> How to say this discreetly? My guess is that adult students come in all
> shapes and sizes, and with all manner of reasons or rationalizations for
> not getting with the teacher's program.
>
> 1. One of them is called Day Job. As in Don't Quit Your. After working
> all day, plus commuting, it really IS difficult for some people to get it
> together, change hats, and start playing Klose scales, Rose etudes, or
> whatever. What happens if the student is just too bloody tired to focus
> one or two nights? At 24, what's the problem? Older, there might be
> one. From the time we're kids it is drummed into us: practice every
> day. It's good advice. It's not always possible.
>
> 2. Another is called I Can't Stand This Guy. It will create any excuse
> for getting the teacher to fire him/her. This is a character issue. The
> student perceives the teacher as...whatever. Or, turn it around, the
> teacher really dislikes the student. It happens.
>
> 3. A third is I Just Did My Checkbook and I'm In Trouble. Also known as
> This Is An Unaffordable Luxury at the Moment. You get to a certain age
and
> realize, as a presumptive adult, that putting the clarinet tuition ahead
of
> a necessary bill ("If I pay for this lesson it'll leave me $40 short of my
> car payment") would be an act of irresponsibility. Many people do things
> in the flush of enthusiasm that are revealed when reality strikes as
> shortsighted.
>
> 4. Another, and back to where we started: the student is a jerk. Not
> being able to practice because you're out doing an imitation of Andy Capp
> doesn't make it. If he's making a near-nightly habit of this, he may have
> a problem no clarinet teacher can help him with. The fact the student is
> forthcoming about why he couldn't practice just makes it easier for the
> teacher to unload him.
>
> I suspect there are more things working here than we can know. I don't
> think anyone's said so but there's been a tone of single-minded dedication
> to one's Art that has morphed into moralism and self-righteousness. If
the
> shoe fits. Believe it or not, music for a lot of people is a pleasant
> pastime, a source of entertainment and recreation. Maybe our adult
> beginner would have been better off in the court of Frederick the Great or
> in a parlor or salon in 19th century America. Often the study of an
> instrument cannot be professionalized or even regularized because people
> come to it from lives that may already have their share of non-negotiable
> items. If you can adjust the priorities and put something down,
> wonderful. If you can't, then you do what you can.
>
> Ken

I think most teachers can accept the situation of an adult student who has
limited practice time due to job and family and can work with that. The
student just goes at a slower pace.

However an "adult" who blows things off because he/she was out "partying
hardy" is just plain irresponsible. They know in advance that they have the
lesson and they know how they will feel if they party too hard. One time is
once too many and I would summarily terminate the student's lessons and open
the slot for someone more mature in attitude.

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