Klarinet Archive - Posting 000501.txt from 2003/12

From: "Lelia Loban" <lelialoban@-----.net>
Subj: [kl] RE: "Mozart" Cassazione?
Date: Fri, 26 Dec 2003 18:21:22 -0500

Robert Whiteside wrote,

>Hey, I have a Bflat Liverwurst soprano clarinet,
>Signed by Irving himself.. anybody know what it's
>worth on the market?

Oh, please. Everybody knows Irving never signed his worst, oops, I mean
wurst. Nope, the inferior Irving Liversworth probably ground down this
particular wooden sausage -- so wurstless that you can buy one for five
bucks from nearly any pushcart vendor in New York City. Check the
signature carefully. Take a look at the mouthpiece, too. If it's a
genuine Liverwurst, then your mouthpiece is a senior partner at Schlock,
Gonef & Schnorer. If your mouthpiece is a junior associate at Haunch,
Paunch & Jowl, then that axe is a Liversworth, sure as salami, and trust me
on this, you do not want it defending you in a court of public opinion.

Lelia Loban
E-mail: lelialoban@-----.net
Web site (original music scores as audio or print-out):
http://members.sibeliusmusic.com/LeliaLoban

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