Klarinet Archive - Posting 000540.txt from 2003/06

From: "Lelia Loban" <lelialoban@-----.net>
Subj: [kl] High Clarinet, Low Clarinet ?
Date: Wed, 18 Jun 2003 19:00:41 -0400

Resurgere Jones wrote,
>It might be helpful here to distinguish between those
>who make their living playing and those, like me, who
>play seriously and usually get paid to do it, but who
>don't make their living at it. There's a lot of us out there....
<snip>

And then there are the wackos who can't keep our mouths off any instrument
with a single reed but never earn a dime from any of 'em, let alone play
well enough to justify the time and money wasted, erm, I mean, *invested*.
(Invested in the afterlife: If we practice enough, we think we might be
reincarnated as *good* clarinet players. That's a useful excuse for owning
too many clarinets, incidentally, because it's just close enough to the
dangerous subject of religion to shut people up. Well, okay, okay, it
shuts up an unusually nervous person, once in a while; but that's a start.)
Not sure if there are a *lot* of us, but we're plotting to take over the
world. Any day now. Piccolo players (piccolists?--piccoloops?--what are
they, anyhow?) beware.

>In my opinion, if you play well enough to work these
>kinds of jobs you should not be embarrassed about not
>owning every instrument under the sun. There are just
>too many of them and they cost too much money, at least until
>you start getting a steady stream of jobs.

Hmm, trying to parse that first sentence...reminds me of Bilbo Baggins's
birthday party speech: "I like less than half of you half as well as you
deserve." But it's true, alas, that owning lots of instruments costs more
money than most of us can earn from them, whether we're embarrassed or not.
That's true even for those of us sufficiently unembarrassed not only to
prowl the flea markets but to check out the dumpsters after the flea
markets.

>I think for those who have come up through school bands
>and orchestras, there is sometimes a stigma associated with
>playing lower parts.... <snip>

...And that's a *good* thing, for those of us who prefer to take the
harmonic low road, as low down as possible: 8 Hz if we can get it, which we
can't on clarinet; but somewhere in town there's bound to be a pipe organ
with a Vox Gravissima or some such resultant bass yielding 64-ft.
pitch--and don't let anybody tell you no human beings can hear a tone that
low, because...well, okay, maybe we're not *technically* human, but you
can't tell by looking at us....
;-)
And to this primate subgroup, the alto, bass and contrabass clarinets sound
infinitely more noble than what my Shadow Cat (I suspect rightly) reviles
as the little screech-sticks, so if others insist on the high road, by all
means graciously offer it to them and modestly take credit for
*generosity*--although I suspect the only credit in the afterlife for that
specious species of generosity is a free vacation in the Hypocrite's Suite
in Hotel Hell--where, however, one will find the hottest band.

But back to the real issue: cue Joel Gray in MC drag, singing, "Money,
money, money." I still have my bass sax, but still don't have a bass or a
contrabass clarinet. I've never seen one at a flea market in other than
stomped-by-Godzilla condition. It's still possible, if one is as patient
as a snake, to locate and buy a fine soprano clarinet for shockingly little
cash, even after factoring in restoration expenses, but after several years
of looking, I'm resigned to spending (after first acquiring) real money to
get any high-quality clarinet pitched lower than my alto.

"The Quest is the Quest."

Lelia Loban
E-mail: lelialoban@-----.net
Web site (original music scores as audio or print-out):
http://members.sibeliusmusic.com/LeliaLoban

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