Klarinet Archive - Posting 000045.txt from 2003/06

From: Dan Sutherland <dan.sutherland@-----.net>
Subj: Re: [kl] Enjoying yourself at the time
Date: Mon, 2 Jun 2003 01:36:28 -0400

>
>
>'Bitter' does seem a bit extreme; nevertheless, in my experience, taking
>a meaningful part in any serious endeavour almost always involves coming
>up against dissatisfaction of one form or another, because you're
>necessarily aware of -- indeed, listening for -- 'what's missing' from
>what you're currently doing. I suppose that some people hold and handle
>this dissatisfaction better than others, and so have a nicer time; but
>it's not necessary for the end result that they have a nice time.

I measure my satisfaction with my performance by how many times I would
fire me if I were in control of that process.
On a good night I would be fired once or twice. Last night I would have
fired me five times. That tells me that my preparation and execution were
not satisfactory.

>It's certainly very important that 'having a nice time' isn't the
>*primary* objective for you if you're involved in a serious endeavour --
>the criterion for which I take to be that you're doing something that
>you can succeed or fail at, and where your success or failure is to be
>judged by standards that you locate outside yourself.
>
>Clearly that criterion applies to the (sometimes) demanding task of
>dealing with a piece in such a way that your vision of its aliveness is
>fully available to other people. But I suggest that you can see the
>criterion applied, by yourself and others, in many other activities.
>It's worth noticing.
>
>Fortunately it need not apply when you're playing music for your own
>enjoyment. But the sadness is that playing 'for your own enjoyment' can
>become unavailable -- or not so readily available -- if you're commonly
>involved in these 'serious endeavours', simply because you get into the
>habit of requiring standards for yourself and others that aren't
>immediately available.
>
>Of course, sometimes you do enjoy yourself even in the most demanding
>situations. (Perhaps some people are lucky enough almost always to
>enjoy themselves!)

Oh, It is sometimes a guilty pleasure. You can fight through a performance
from start to finish. Your listeners find the beauty. You are merely
content that you did not abandon the project.

> Still, I find there's not a particularly good
>correlation between the performances of mine that I enjoyed most at the
>time and those that my listeners say they enjoyed the most. So when
>another player wishes me good luck as we go onto the platform, saying,
>"Remember, let's enjoy ourselves!", I quite often reply, "Mm, it would
>be good to enjoy ourselves -- unless it turns out that we don't!"

An opposing coach on a soccer pitch wandered up to the team I was coaching
and enquired of my players if they were "having fun". We were on our way
to being outscored twelve to two. I have determined that "fun" is an "f "
word.

If the question were "Are you playing with spirit, intelligence and at
somewhere near the best of your ability" I would have little complaint.

>Tony
>--
>_________ Tony Pay
> |ony:-) 79 Southmoor Rd Tony@-----.uk
> | |ay Oxford OX2 6RE http://classicalplus.gmn.com/artists
> tel/fax 01865 553339
>
>.... Discoveries are made by not following instructions.
>
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