Klarinet Archive - Posting 000538.txt from 2003/04

From: "Patricia A. Smith" <patricia@-----.net>
Subj: [kl] Jeckle to D.V. on clarinet playing humans; was. Floor hamsters
Date: Sat, 26 Apr 2003 00:37:54 -0400

Lelia Loban wrote:

>
> Hey, ya got a human feedin ya, huh? Nice work if ya can get it! That's
> cool! They don't feed me here. Not on purpose, leastways. Not that I'm
> goin hungry or nothin....
>
> Dick Vigorous
>

Dear Dick Vigorous,

Greetings again from Jeckle. I get your drift. I shall consider your
premises. You have some interesting suggestions.

Perhaps I should simply charge all the other members of my species for
living here in the house - and charge double when the human practices
clarinet. Of course - the price TRIPLES once she begins teaching the
small humans how to play. And of course, there is the matinee bargain
for duets between small humans.

You would not believe her plans. She thinks they will be able to learn
easily on pawn shop Bundy screamers with Clark Fobes Debut mouthpieces
and Mitchell Lurie reeds. Methinks that Mr. Fobes and Mr. Lurie's
companies will be the greatest benefactors here. I doubt the small
humans will do well at playing the clarinet.

As for her - she has some sort of ridiculous assertion that she is able
to go without practicing, then drag out her transcription of the Bach
Cello pieces and actually play them. Foolish woman. She should stick
to scales and long tones - and practice consistently. After all, her
prime purpose in life is to feed me and practice clarinet in order to
entertain me. Is that so wrong? I rather enjoy long tones that go from
a nice, controlled pianissimo to a strong, yet not too harsh forte -
with a pleasant metronome ticking in the background. It certainly beats
having to listen to broken down runs all over the place - interspersed
with cries of "Oh, @%^$!! *&$#!" I don't want to listen to her talk -
just play the clarinet. Oh, and feed me. Jeckle.

Thanks for the advice, DV. You da bomb.

Your grateful rodent compadre,
Jeckle the mouse

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