Klarinet Archive - Posting 000379.txt from 2003/03
From: "Christy Erickson" <perickso@-----.net>
Subj: RE: [kl] Relating emotional state to musical performance, and career choices; was, Better Rebecca
Date: Sat, 8 Mar 2003 14:07:13 -0500
I would like to thank all of you for sharing your personal stories also. =
It
is helpful to the rest of us. I always had a terrible time also with =
nerves
and anxiety about performances. When you're the "best" at anything the
expectations can become very high and the pressure very intense. I have
suffered from major depression and also have a diagnosis of ADD (which I
sought after my daughter was diagnosed with this). When I was younger, =
I
wanted to major in instrumental music education but couldn't imagine =
myself
standing in front of a crowd conducting and I knew that performance =
would
simply be too intense and stressful for me. So, I went into social =
work-go
figure. The medications have helped tremendously to reduce the =
obstacles I
always had to playing as well as I wanted to and to not falling apart if =
a
performance didn't go as well as I would have liked. Nowadays I enjoy
playing music just for the sheer joy of it and to play the best that I =
can
play and not worry about someone else-although I'll have to say it is =
hard
to play with others who do not have the same experience and information =
that
I do. The intonation drives me nuts sometimes in the civic band, for
example but I look at it as an opportunity to help others learn to be =
better
players and to become more sensitive musicians. (but sometimes I'm still
tempted to come to rehearsal with earplugs on). I sometimes volunteer =
to
play a second or third part just to help fill out the parts and to help
those players learn their parts. We are all at a different point with =
our
own musicianship skills and but as long as we're happy and playing =
something
perhaps better and more musically than we did the last time we're making
progress and that's the whole point I guess.
Christy Erickson
-----Original Message-----
From: Barbara Reimer [mailto:muse@-----.net]=20
Subject: Re: [kl] Relating emotional state to musical performance, and
career choices; was, Better Rebecca
> I don't know if this is helpful to anyone. I hope it is. If my story =
> can help anyone to find a different direction in life, as well as to=20
> garner more joy from music, (not to mention avoid substance abuse! ;-)
> then it will have been worth the telling.
Thank you Patricia for sharing your story! And Rebecca too. Both hit=20
really close to home for me even though I do not have aspirations to be=20
a professional musician. (I chose fine art photography instead ten=20
years ago and my parent's are still harping "when are you going to get=20
a real degree?") I too have anxiety and stage fright and an obsessive=20
nature about me that has both worked to help and to hinder my=20
progression in all aspects of life. It does help to hear your stories=20
especially as I am just starting to understand the impact this has had=20
on my life.
There are two writings that have a profound impact on my life when I=20
remember them: One, the Desiderata and, two, an arab proverb that=20
goes something like this: (i have lost my copy of this proverb so I'm=20
sorry if my memory fails for accuracy - if anyone recognizes it and can=20
tell me where to find another copy I'd be eternally grateful. the only=20
line i am certain on is the third.)
He who knows not and knows not that he knows not is a fool. Ignore=20
him.
He who knows not and knows that he know not is a child. Teach him.
He who knows and knows not that he knows is asleep. Wake him.
He who knows and knows that he knows not is wise. Follow him.
Thanks again.
Barb
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