Klarinet Archive - Posting 000309.txt from 2003/03

From: "Rebecca Brennan" <rjbrennan1221@-----.com>
Subj: Re: [kl] Better Rebecca
Date: Fri, 7 Mar 2003 10:16:22 -0500

Tony asked what happened, basically I went to an honor band and made 3rd
chair and it bothers me and an old friend from grade school who took up the
clarinet is trying her best to make me feel inferior, and it works.

I have to compare myself to others, that is what I have been trained to do.
My teacher's goal is to turn me into a "monster" that is superior to all
other "monsters". I wasn't told "good job" for coming in 3rd out of quite a
few clarinets, but I was kind of indirectly put down for it.

Metaphorically, people learn by having the bar set at a clearable level so
it is easy to jump over and it is gradually raised. Not for me. Exact
opposite. The bar is set higher than I can jump, and I keep jumping until I
can clear it, but it is raised higher. Make sense? This technique has
actually been pretty successful.

Class is over! I gotta go!
I'll finnish later

-Rebecca

>From: Tony@-----.uk (Tony Pay)
>Reply-To: klarinet@-----.org
>To: klarinet@-----.org Subject: [kl] Better Rebecca
>Date: Thu, 06 Mar 2003 22:02:57 GMT
>
>This is just to make a small but IMO very important point.
>
>It is a triumph to be able to recognise *what* you think is better than
>your current effort in somebody else's performance of something. Most
>people's failure to improve is almost entirely to do with the fact that
>they cannot do this, *in detail*.
>
>If you're a good amateur, just beginning to notice those details will
>help your playing. But if you seriously want to be a professional, you
>*have* to get into the habit of comparing your performances with those
>of others in this way.
>
>The brilliant truth to remember is that valuing a detail of what 'they'
>do above what you do at some point shows that what they do is *already
>YOURS*, as one of your mental representations of excellence. (You
>wouldn't have the apparatus to recognise it as 'better' if it wasn't
>'yours':-)
>
>On another tack, I thought the point of Rebecca's very honest post was
>to tell us that she had found that coming up against someone else's
>ability (was that what had happened? -- we never found out) had had some
>other effects upon her, like making her angry and feel a failure.
>
>In my view, it does her a disservice to tell her that she shouldn't feel
>those feelings, if she feels them. Of course, I do know that doing her
>a disservice was very far from anybody's intention. But my point is,
>Rebecca's *trying not to feel them* might stop her discovering where
>they come from, and thus mastering them.
>
>Even if she never is entirely free of those feelings, "I'm angry I can't
>do that!" isn't very far away from, "I'm damned well going to practise
>that bit until I *can*!"
>
>Note the *specificity* in all of this. What kills us is generalisation.
>
>Tony
>--
>_________ Tony Pay
> |ony:-) 79 Southmoor Rd Tony@-----.uk
> | |ay Oxford OX2 6RE http://classicalplus.gmn.com/artists
> tel/fax 01865 553339
>
>.... Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
>
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