Klarinet Archive - Posting 000227.txt from 2003/03

From: "Age E.Smies" <asmies@-----.net>
Subj: Re: [kl] anger and jelousy of a southern west virginian musicstudent
Date: Wed, 5 Mar 2003 20:38:09 -0500

Very good advice. Rebecca, even when I was majoring in Music there were
people who played faster, louder, softer etc. However, I enjoyed playing.
It was after graduation that I became serious. Without a teacher I studied
and performed. I taught and lost a lot, I retired and regained a lot. I
loved sharing my love a music and I still do. Now I teach privately,
conduct a musical, play in a community band and perform whenever and
wherever I can. Don't give up, just do your best and see what happens. I
know you may feel old at 17 but you are just beginning.

RES NON VERBA

AES
----- Original Message -----
From: "Deidre Calarco" <DLeigh@-----.org>
Subject: Re: [kl] anger and jelousy of a southern west virginian
musicstudent

> > Where I live I am good. I am the primo crop, the prodigy, the best! Then
I
> > step out of my little bubble into another county or state and I feel so
> > inferior and angry! I have no idea what level the average American 17
year
> > old clarinet student is on, but I think I am lower than that. Somebody
> > please enlighten me on what I should be able to do so I know where I
stand
> > in the clarinet world.
> >
> > I love clarinet very deeply and I want to play clarinet for a living and
> > major in music and be one of the great, but I am really starting to have
my
> > doubts now.
> >
> > -Rebecca, just learned she is living a dream, not a reality.
>
> Hum... Let's see. When I was 17, I thought I was pretty good. I'd
studied
> privately for 6 years. I thought the Mozart was technically easy. I
could
> do all the Weber stuff. I'd gone through 3 Rose books. I could play the
> Poulanc just fine, and loved it. I had all my major, minor (melodic and
> harmonic) scales memorized. I played in my school band, orchestra, and
jazz
> band and in the community orchestra, which I had the opportunity to solo
> with. I'd aced all the proficiencies in state S&E.
>
> I had some other things going for me: my mom was a professional quality
> pianist, and she was my accompanist. Since she was so good, I got to work
> on a lot of serious repertoire. I'd grown up with symphony people around,
> too, and had even had a few opportunities to play chamber music with pros.
> Really lucky!
>
> BUT, I wasn't the most disciplined kid in the world. I didn't practice as
> much as I was supposed to and I worried that I'd never be able to compete
> with people who worked harder than I did at the college level. I had some
> mental blacks; for instance, sometimes I had trouble with fast tongued
> passages. I wasn't totally happy with my sound. I was good at sight
> reading and ensemble playing, and could usually play well in performance
> (good with stress, I guess). But, I felt like I was better than I
deserved
> to be and I knew what a struggle it could be trying to make it as a
> classical wind player.
>
> I felt like a fraud. When I saw other people my age who were further
along
> than I was, I thought there was no way I could succeed at music. (Okay,
> there was a little problem with me not wanting my mom to have to support
me
> as an adult, too. She couldn't afford it.)
>
> 15 years later...
>
> I decided not to major in music in college and eventually stopped playing.
> I gave in to the doubts. I'm an engineer now.
>
> I'm not quite happy. I keep dreaming about music. Not fantasizing, I
mean
> literally, while I'm asleep. One day last year, I bought an A clarinet on
> Ebay - one that matches my Bb R13. The one I used to play belonged to my
> high school, and I had to give it back. My new A clarinet is a beautiful
> horn. It has an even better sound than my Bb. So, I started practicing
> again. That's why I'm on this list. I'll have to find someplace to play
as
> soon as I'm sounding okay again.
>
> Anyway, I can't tell you that becoming a professional musician is an easy
> goal. The streets are littered with ex-musicians who used to be good,
> including people who gave up after getting one or more music degrees.
> However, there are a few things I didn't understand well enough as a 17
year
> old.
>
> 1. It's not just a competition. It's a community. Many people end up
> being successful at music. You don't have to be the best in every way.
You
> just have to work hard, have some talent, put yourself out there, and keep
> trying regardless of setbacks. You can learn from other people, and they
> can learn from you. You can take pleasure in the camaraderie and in each
> other's playing. Develop your own style and sound. Everyone is unique.
>
> 2. Who you study with is more important than what school you go to. It's
> not just the name, but how compatible you are with them, and how good they
> are as a teacher.
>
> 3. Most other jobs are not as fun as being a professional musician. It's
> probably worth a little extra work and stress.
>
> 4. If you love music, you'll never get it out of your system. If you try
> to give it up, it will keep following you around. However, you can't
charge
> it with stalking.
>
> 5. You just have to keep playing. Look for opportunities. Get your name
> out there. Take auditions. Organize groups. Set up gigs. Never give
up.
>
> 6. And... If being able to support yourself is an issue, double major in
> music ed. Even being a music teacher is more fun than most jobs.
>
> 7. If you decide not to major in music but want to keep playing, make
sure
> the school you go to allows non-music majors to take classes in the music
> school. Not all do.
>
> Probably the pros will have better advice, but I had to give it a shot...
>
> -Deidre
>
>
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