Klarinet Archive - Posting 000681.txt from 2003/02

From: "Patricia A. Smith" <patricia@-----.net>
Subj: [kl] Reply to Shadow Cat and need OLD plastic clarinets; was, Impingo
Date: Sat, 22 Feb 2003 18:06:16 -0500

Shadow Cat wrote:
> Message-ID: <crush-all-666clarinets-@-----.net>
>
> I'm making my stupid pet human type this. This is Shadow Cat, making Lelia
> think she fell asleep at the computer, while I secretly control her
> fingers. She wrote,
>
>
>>Bottom line: as with most other things, it's dangerous to generalize about
>
> metal clarinets.
>
> Bottom line: it's dangerous to have anything to do with metal
> screech-sticks. I suspect they're wired for electricity. Some day, you
> could be squealing and hooting in the usual obscene and disgusting manner,
> and all of a sudden, zzzzzzzt! you're a crispy critter. It's an
> international conspiracy, and I know who's behind it, too: the evil G*rb*ge
> Tr*ck demon. Humans have their uses, particularly on cold nights, but
> never let a pair of humans fool you, not even if they co-opt you with a
> nice warm bed with plenty of blankets -- no, not even if they let you
> snuggle up between them and share a pillow when it's snowing outside.
> Lelia seems harmless enough, but the fact is, warm blankets or not, she
> feeds the G*rb*ge Tr*ck monster once a week. She saves up choice goodies
> for it. She won't let me have fish bones and chicken bones, oh, no,
> because she's saving those for the evil G*rb*ge Tr*ck. And it all comes
> from playing the cl*r*n*t. The metal ones are the worst. You can tell
> just by looking at them that they're larvae of the V*c**m Cl**ner, which is
> the juvenile form of the G*rb*ge Tr*ck. You let metal screech-sticks into
> the house, and mark my words, someday you'll wake up to find a V*c**m
> Cl**ner in bed with you and the G*rb*ge Tr*ck breaking down your kitchen
> wall and chomping up your entire refrigerator!

Deer Shadow Cat,

Dis heer iss SA da rabbit. Da bunny rabbit. We don hab "pet hoomins".
We hab slaves - or swabes, iff yoo spell it in bunny.

Wot is diss yere klarinet ting yoo peeple iss tawking abbout? I heer
dem pwaying sum-ting called a ree-cor-dur dee odder nite. I hatid dat
ting. Iss da Klarinet wike dat? Da slave dont play da klarinet heer.
Da little slaves don let her. Win she does, dey do tings to stop hur.

Mebbe wot yoo need to do, Shadow cat, is to lurn how to choo tings up. I
choo up all da tings I dont like. Choo up all doze klarinet tings. Da
wuns yoo cannot choo, da metul wuns, mebbe feed doze tings to da
gar-budge monstur.

Yore pal,
SA the bunny
who doesn't allow klarinet playin in his howse

*Shoo! Shoo! Get away from the computer!*

I am SO embarrased! Marauding bunny on the computer writing to Shadow
cat, evil children listening to recorder music...what is a clarinet
playing mother to do? ;-)

Seriously, if anyone here knows of a couple of OLD plastic
Bundys/Yamahas that they'd not mind letting go of for less than, oh,
about $175.00 each - I'm interested. Both my boys are FINALLY ready to
start learning how to play! Contact me off the list if you think you
have a possibility for me. I already know the mouthpieces and ligs I
want to get (Hiya Clark! The Debut sells itself! :)

Patricia Smith (will work for rabbit food)

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