Klarinet Archive - Posting 000407.txt from 2003/01

From: "Rebecca Brennan" <rjbrennan1221@-----.com>
Subj: Re: [kl] Bill's case of cat excess.
Date: Mon, 20 Jan 2003 10:09:10 -0500

Awwwwww! I love Shadow Cat stories!!!! You must e-mail me a picture!

-Rebecca

>From: LeliaLoban@-----.com
>Reply-To: klarinet@-----.org
>To: klarinet@-----.org
>Subject: [kl] Bill's case of cat excess.
>Date: Mon, 20 Jan 2003 08:57:48 EST
>
>Jim Lande wrote,
> > I once opened a case and didn't even get the horn out before
> >one of the cats fled into the room my wife was vacuming.
>
>Chose a vacuum cleaner over a clarinet, eh? Now that's a serious insult!
>The vacuum cleaner may be the one thing Shadow Cat hates even more than she
>hates the clarinet. She's known and loathed the word "vacuum" for most of
>her 14 years. I give her a courtesy warning so she can leave before I open
>the Broom of Doom Closet, since the mere sight of this demonic monster at
>close range nearly panics her. Similarly, before I practice the clarinet,
>I
>ask her if she would like to hear some clarinet music. Bumbledumbledumble
>bop bop bop!--down the stairs she goes, as loudly as possible, while making
>outraged gurgling noises all the way down, just to make sure I get the
>point!
>
>Kevin (husband) uses a powerful, hand-held vacuum cleaner once or twice a
>week to police up what I call his hell-hole: the area of carpet underneath
>and around the table in the basement (w)rec(k) room where shreds of leather
>and paper and other flakes and dusty scrap fall, as he does the parts of
>his
>book conservation service that don't require the big tools in the workshop.
>Since Kevin started binding books, Shadow has learned to recognize the
>words,
>"hell-hole" and "police up," in time to skedaddle before he reaches for the
>hand-held devil, which makes such a loud, piercing whine that he wears
>hearing protection and I join Shadow in disappearing up the stairs!
>
>Jim wrote,
> >I want to invite a bagpiper friend to set up in the other end
> >of the house and have a third person check the relative distances
> >from the cats to the players. (We may not be able to define a
> >'dark tone' but at least we could formulate a bagpipe/clarinet cat
> >repellent scale.) However, my wife won't let me. I leave this
> >for other investigators.
>
>I think the cats are already making investigations of their own. We've got
>a
>bagpiper two doors up. Sometimes, in nice weather, he practices by
>marching
>up and down the street, while wearing bits and pieces of various historic
>military uniforms that he collects to use in his hobby of battle
>re-enactments. Shadow runs to the front window and checks him out. I
>think
>she's monitoring whether he's turned into a vacuum cleaner yet.
>
>Ears flat, she barrels up and over the sofa and aims herself precisely to
>burst through the place where the curtains part and onto the the window
>ledge, where she trains eyes, nose and ears at her target just as long as
>it
>takes for her to whirl 360 degrees. Still moving at top speed, she banks
>off
>the glass with her back paws, propelling herself safely down onto the sofa
>and out of sight again, before the enemy can spot her. If he swivelled his
>glassy stare at a right angle from his usual intense concentration on outer
>space, he would see nothing but a momentary flicker of curtains and a gray
>blur. Shadow Cat's entire reconnaissance mission takes all of about two
>seconds, after which she heads for the basement, where she probably
>compares
>notes by psychic radio with all the other feline spies in the neighborhood.
>
>("This is Ms. Shadow Cat, calling Feline Net. Alert, alert! Target
>sighted,
>on the move past my bunker from two o'clock to ten o'clock. Target
>consists
>of one robotic human identified as Enemy No. RH-23,465, equipped with
>assortment of bag, hoses, etc. as previously described. Target observed
>emitting usual hideous screechings and bellowings. No new signs of
>metamorphosis but recommend continued surveillance. Will keep you
>informed.
>Over and out.")
>
>I don't know what Shadow Cat would do if we were heartless enough to get
>out
>a clarinet and a vacuum cleaner *while* the bagpiper makes his rounds.
>
>Lelia
>
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