Klarinet Archive - Posting 000591.txt from 2002/12

From: "Ed & Carol Maurey" <edsshop@-----.ca>
Subj: [kl] Fw: To my clarinet group friends
Date: Tue, 24 Dec 2002 18:44:39 -0500

To my clarinet Friends,

I consider myself to be the archenemy of all religions, but still I get a
kick out of getting together with friends and relatives for a serious
session of over-eating and boozing here in our nice warm home in New
Brunswick, Canada. My wife, Carol, is the ultimate hostess and is at her
best when she is preparing for and throwing dinamite parties. I'm sure
we'll have a great secular Xmas and we hope all of you have lots of good
clean fun, too.

The following was sent to us recently. I forwarded it to all our lawyers.
They adored it.

Ed Maurey

To our dear friends,

".......Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best
wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress,
non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday,
practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion
of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for
the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their
choice not to practice a religious or secular tradition at all..........
.......And a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar
year 2003, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other
cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not
to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is
the only "AMERICA" in the Western hemisphere), and with out regard to race,
creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer
platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

.....(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This
greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no
promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for
him/herself or others, and is void were prohibited by law, and is
revocableat the sole discretion of the wisher.

....This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual
application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the
issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and the
warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or the issuance of a new
wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

....Wishee agrees to hold harmless the wisher from any and all damages
whether physical, emotional, or financial, but not by way of limitation,
arising out of or as a result of these wishes."

The Maureys

---------------------------------------------------------------------