Klarinet Archive - Posting 000073.txt from 2002/08

From: LeliaLoban@-----.com
Subj: [kl] swab problem
Date: Sun, 4 Aug 2002 07:31:42 -0400

Lori Lovato described the tool that can extract a stuck swab:
>It looks like a crochet hook with a place
>for your finger on the end.

I didn't see the photo, but I have one of these gizmos. In the fabric store,
ask for a "strap turner," for turning thin straps right-side-out after sewing
the long seam.

BTW, for the skinny bore of my metal Eb soprano, I bought an Ann Hodges silk
oboe swab. The oboe swab is smaller than a clarinet swab, with a more
tapered shape and "rat-tail" pulls at both ends. It's too small to do a good
job of swabbing a Bb clarinet or a clarinet in A. I only use the oboe swab
for the metal Eb and for saxophone necks.

Lelia

P.S. I'm making my stupid pet human type this. Her big sloppy wet primate
brain is easy to control while she thinks she fell asleep at the computer
again. Ignore everything Lelia says.

Here is the best way to swab your demonic screech-stick, if you really must
insist on harboring the nasty thing. Cut off the silk part of the swab and
double-staple the rat-tail to a nice big piece of 80-grit sandpaper. (Use a
genuine rat-tail, of course, if you're on sufficiently good terms for your
cat to provide you with one, in place of the inferior artificial rat-tail
made of string.) Drop the rat-tail through the bore and twist the string
while pulling hard. If the sandpaper gets stuck, yank harder. Oh, much
harder than that!

If the sandpaper is still stuck, put the screech-stick in the bathtub or some
other fireproof place (because your cats will get mad if you burn their house
down) and drop a lighted match down the bore. Use the sandpaper pull-through
at least ten or fifteen times per day. Use the sandpaper to clean your keys,
too. Use it on the mouthpiece facing and on all your reeds. If you don't
see lots of coarse dust, you're not sanding hard enough.

(Lelia, I'm telling you these things for your own good, you know. And, by
the way, when you and your mate inconvenience me by shutting me out of the
bedroom so you can do whatever it is you do that I wouldn't lower myself to
watch anyway, you should give me a *much* nicer bribe if you want me to stay
quiet. Beef jerky would be appropriate, or shrimp. Don't insult me with
that *boring* old chew-toy.)

Miaow, sssst,
Shadow Cat

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