Klarinet Archive - Posting 000336.txt from 2002/06

From: LeliaLoban@-----.com
Subj: [kl] Son et lumiere (and clarinet sampling)
Date: Tue, 11 Jun 2002 09:18:21 -0400

Jeremy Yager wrote,
>As long as there is a markett for real clarinetists performing,
>someone will provide the ability for this market to get real
> clarinetists performing. [snip]
>
>Another example: The 80's saw uses of electronic keyboards
>to replace horn sections in bands. There are still horns in bands
>today that want that sound. Why? People want the artistry and
>the musical uniqueness that electronics cannot provide--there is
>a demand for warm bodies blowin' real air.

Let's hope you're right. Alas, the 1980s haven't ended yet in movieland. In
the current issue of _Scarlet Street_, my final article in a series of four
about films of H. Rider Haggard's _She_ includes a review of a 2001 movie,
SHE, that hasn't been released yet, from Towers of London. It's a lurid,
campy, low-budget flick, fairly crummy, with a model instead of an actress
playing She Who Must Be Obeyed. Still, it's got its moments, helped along
by some spectacular scenery, filmed on location in Bulgaria (standing in for
Central Asia). SHE's almost peculiar enough to make it into the "bad movies
we love" category.

Anyhow, Stelvio Cipriani (aka contemporary jazz composer Steve Powder) wrote
an orchestral score that sounds extremely derivative of Rimsky-Korsakoff's
"Sheherezade." I watched a screener (a VHS tape with a timer caption that
can't be toggled off the screen, to discourage critics from bootlegging), so
it's possible that the movie will get some improvements before release (if it
gets released), but if the current soundtrack stays in place, I don't think
there's a real instrument in the whole shebang. Most of the time, the
electronic "orchestra" stays far enough back not to be a serious distraction,
but the wind instrument simulations stand out as by far the least convincing.

In one scene, a herald in the hidden city of Kor blows an enormous, copper
horn, shaped sort of like a shofar. It's a dramatic moment, but totally
undecut when what comes out on the soundtrack is a ridiculous bleat that
could never pass for an acoustic horn voiced by a human being. Groan.
Couldn't that itty-bitty budget pay for just one guy with a bass alpenhorn,
or a tuba, or even a bass trombone?!

Lelia

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