Klarinet Archive - Posting 000801.txt from 2001/11

From: Tony@-----.uk (Tony Pay)
Subj: [kl] Giving up, or not
Date: Thu, 29 Nov 2001 14:53:43 -0500

I think that what we can do with our children is to have them see that
we are useful to them as more experienced in the world; but we make a
mistake if we try to be controllers of what they ultimately want to do.

Both of my children were given the opportunity to be involved with
music. In fact, both of them rejected that -- "It's not as though there
isn't enough music in our house, don't you think, Dad?" -- but took
their musical abilities up in other ways.

My eldest son was a very good boy soprano, and sang in various high
quality professional productions, including "The Turn of the Screw" in
the Teatro Fenice in Italy. He went on to make an important recording
of that, and did other excellent things too. Of course, we had to work
quite hard with him during that period.

When he took up the horn, he seemed not so interested in practising,
despite having lessons from very able teachers. A wonderful horn-player
of my acquaintance said: why don't you talk to him about why he wants to
play the horn? Is it because of the amazing sound the instrument can
make? You might be able to get him back in touch that way.

So I did. He looked at me with surprise. "But, you know why I play the
horn," he said.

"No, I don't."

"I play the horn because you *told* me to," he said.

So, he quite quickly gave it up.

(He'd even bought the instrument with his own money.)

My younger son gave up the 'cello about 5 times, the last time for good.
Then he asked for a guitar for his birthday.

"But, there's one condition," he said:

"I don't have to have lessons."

Now both boys spend a great deal of their time playing and singing
together. They plan to make a CD, and the younger wants to go into
music technology. The elder is much more interested in, and is
studying, film, which *he* tells *me* about.

A final thought: people who say that they're grateful that their parents
made them practise, don't know what would have happened if they hadn't.

The thing is, they have to find their own way.

Tony
--
_________ Tony Pay
|ony:-) 79 Southmoor Rd Tony@-----.uk
| |ay Oxford OX2 6RE GMN artist: http://www.gmn.com
tel/fax 01865 553339

... If the police arrest a mime, does he have the right to remain silent?

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