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Klarinet Archive - Posting 000049.txt from 2001/11

From: "Lacy, Edwin" <el2@-----.edu>
Subj: [kl] How to make your reeds work
Date: Thu, 1 Nov 2001 16:09:21 -0500

We have had much conflicting advice about how to treat reeds to obtain
maximum performance capabilities. However, I'm going to give you the six
secret steps for treating reeds which will cause playing the clarinet to be
so much more fun than you have ever experienced!

1. Place all your reeds in a small brown paper bag. (Plastic won't to -
the reeds can't breathe.)

2. Take them to a cemetery at midnight on the night of a full moon.

3. Sprinkle the bag with a concoction of dried and powdered bat's wings and
lizard tails.

4. Recite an appropriate incantation, or read a few passages from either
Keith Stein's "The Art of Clarinet Playing" or William Stubbins' "The Art of
Clarinetistry." (But don't read from both of them - your reeds will become
hopelessly confused, and so will you.)

5. Throw the bag of reeds into a convenient open grave, and run away as
fast as you can, never looking back.

6. Go home, find some other reed, and practice several hours.

I'm sure you'll notice immediate improvement in your playing!

Ed Lacy
EL2@-----.edu

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