Klarinet Archive - Posting 000491.txt from 2001/09

From: Anna Benassi <acb@-----.is>
Subj: [kl] unity
Date: Fri, 14 Sep 2001 08:09:43 -0400

I have been trying to gather my thoughts the past few days, as the
subject of unity - and disunity - has lain beneath the surface of many
Klarinet postings this week. I wanted to write and exhort us all to BE
united and to behave as though we were.

But as the thoughts grow and develop in my mind I realize that we are
more unified than might appear on the surface. Not one post to the
Klarinet list has betrayed other reactions than abject horror at the
enormity of the unspeakable events of this week. There are
disagreements about the most appropriate ways to express that horror,
and the discussion generated by those disgreements has in many ways
been provoked anger (as well as deep thought), but we are one in our
bereavement and our shocked disbelief. And that is good.

I belong to a mailing list for parents of autistic children. It's an
extremely active list - some 1900 members - and I must receive six
25-message digests every day. The members of that list obviously come
from many different cultural and religious backgrounds. They
represent several countries and have various amounts of formal
education. The level of their children's disabilities and the success
rate of individual therapies also varies from member to member. But
what amazes me about that list is the almost universal lack of
flaming. And the explanation is simple: the members are united in
compassion for one another and by their common pain, for the agony and
exhaustion involved in raising a developmentally disordered child can
be beyond words. The support that these list members show one another
is often very moving, and I am sure that this support often gives many
parents the courage to go on when simply stopping might seem quite
tempting.

But I don't mention this group because of its dissimilarity to ours,
for I find that, when I look below the surface, we are not so
different. We are quick to take offense, and we fly off the handle
from time to time. And we verbalize! But I believe that the compassion
and unity are there, and I think it's quite healthy if we reflect on
that unity and try to make the most of it.

It's clear that many Klarinet members view the list as a sort of
community - many refer to it as such - and the fact that they should
want to use that community as an airing ground for a broad range of
feelings and opinions - especially in times of tragedy - is neither
surprising nor offensive, even if the list was generated for other
purposes. I only hope that we can continue to function as a community
- and to strengthen our sense of community - because I think the world
needs the unity of diverse peoples now more than ever.

In pace,

Anna

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