Klarinet Archive - Posting 000379.txt from 2001/08

From: rgarrett@-----.edu
Subj: Re: [kl] Rudeness problem plus a hello
Date: Sun, 26 Aug 2001 11:11:52 -0400

At 02:06 PM 08/26/2001 +0100, you wrote:
>Roger Garrett tried the same thing on with me on the bass clarinet list.
>The best way of dealing with this, as you are doing, is not to engage with
>flames. My e-mail programme now has an R Garrett rule, which deletes his
>posts unread. It's much more useful to read your comments on mouthpieces
>and pads, as well as the great historic _Fiddler_ remembrances.

Alas, Virginia is not being candid about the conversation(s) she alludes to
on the bass list.

For those not on the bass list, I responded to a post in which Virginia
counseled a student to find a bass clarinet teacher - but then went on to
say that there are a lot of frauds and/or fraudulent teachers to be
avoided. It turns out that she may have meant incompetent techers, but we
will never really know because she did not address those issues when she
was asked about them. Instead, she decided that because I disagreed with
her statements about teachers intentionally defrauding their students, she
labeled it as an angry response and personal attack rather than as a
disagreement. You may read the exchange in the bass archives if you
wish. I assured her then, as I assure her now - I was not angry at her -
simply disagreeing with her - much as I disagree with Walter. I have never
met Virginia, so I have no reason to be rude to her - as her subject area
in the email states.

The problem with email is that the lack of tone and facial expression to
along with a reasonable but directly written document sometimes allows for
people to assume the worst possible thing. The only way we truly know for
sure if someone is attacking is if they make it clear - eg. "Roger Garrett
tried the same thing on with me on the bass clarinet list." In response to,
"However, Mr. Garrett has the UNFORTUNATE tendency to insult those which he
disagrees with. We have seen it happen over and over again. He also seems
to ascribe the basest possible motives to those with whom he disagrees."
The best possible way to avoid perceived rudeness is to ask the person if
they intended what was perceived. More often than not, this pleasant way
of finding out before attacking can solve many problems.

Virginia writes:
"On a different (and hopefully sunnier) tack, hi there. I've just
joined this list. "

I am saddened that Virginia used her first post here and her first couple
of posts on the bass list to attack and discredit rather than simply discuss.

But - like Walter, she will not read this - so there is no chance for her
to know the mistakes she has made - except in the third person - or,
perhaps, reading the archives. This saddens me even more.

Best wishes,
Roger Garrett

Clarinet Professor
Director, Symphonic Winds
Illinois Wesleyan University
School of Music
Bloomington, IL 61702-2900
Phone: (309) 556-3268
Fax: (309) 556-3121

"If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me,
this shop might as well be closed for any other business. I do the very
best I know how - the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until
the end. If the end brings me out all right, what is said against me won't
amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, 10 angels swearing I
was right would make no difference."
-Abraham Lincoln

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