Klarinet Archive - Posting 000630.txt from 2001/03

From: "Tony Wakefield" <tony-wakefield@-----.net>
Subj: Re: [kl] FW: [kl] Have Some Madeira, My Dear ??
Date: Sat, 24 Mar 2001 13:28:40 -0500

Michael Flanders & Donald Swann were enormously popular on British TV &
stage in the `50`s. I, as a kid used to fall about listening to the ever so
funny lyrics. Their delivery and timing were the "best". Swann wrote the
music and I dare say they both contributed to the lyrics. One or two (at
least) of their songs, <and> their performances of them have entered into a
wonderful heritage of past British Music Hall entertainment.

Some 12 years ago my phone rang, and the softly spoken voice said, "This is
Donald Swann speaking". He wanted some help with piano rehearsal parts,
where-upon rising up from off (of) the carpet, I gave him a cost which he
accepted. A week later he turned up on my doorstep, sat at my table and
scattered a half dozen copies of rough piano and vocal manuscripts around. I
had the task of re-writing them out again with the object of making it into
a commercially playable score. After that had been determined, he sat and
talked about the venture which was intended to be a forthcoming "musical".
I`m sad to say that I don`t think it was ever produced. Their popularity has
never really waned, more taken a back seat to modern entertainment. The duo
performances certainly stopped when Flanders died, in the `60`s(?) I`m sure
their recordings will rise again someday.

I collected my wife from her morning work that same afternoon, and as we
drove thru` our town centre, I saw him. I quite casually leant across to her
and remarked, "Do you see that man over there sitting on the bench, - that
is Donald Swann". She was struck in the same way as myself, albeit his
sickly green suit. We didn`t disturb him as he was tucking into a sandwich
bought opposite, whiling away the afternoon. It was quite sunny, and I
expect he was making his way back to the station to catch the train home.

I often look at the chair where he sat. It was indeed a sad occasion when we
heard of his death about 5 years ago. They don`t breed`em like that any
more - - - - -
Best,
Tony W.

----- Original Message -----
From: "Daniluk, Bill" <bdaniluk@-----.com>
Subject: [kl] FW: [kl] Have Some Madeira, My Dear ??

This was Flanders & Swann - they also have the little known words to a
Mozart Horn Concerto in a song called "Ill Wind". Here is a link to a
complete web site on F&S: http://timothyplatypus.tripod.com/FaS/

Though not musical, their song on the GNU (g pronounced) is also very nice.

Bill Daniluk

Madeira M'dear

She was young, she was pure, she was new, she was nice,
She was fair, she was sweet seventeen.
He was old, he was vile, and no stranger to vice,
He was base, he was bad, he was mean.
He had slyly inveigled her up to his flat
To view his collection of stamps
And he said as he hastened to put out the cat, the wine, his cigar and the
lamps:
'Have some madeira, M'dear
You really have nothing to fear
I'm not trying to tempt you, that wouldn't be right
You shouldn't drink spirits at this time of night
Have some madeira, M'dear
It's very much nicer than beer
I don't care for sherry, one cannot drink stout
and port is a wine I can well do without
It's simply a case of Chacun à son gout
Have some madeira, M'dear!'

Unaware of the wiles of the snake in the grass
The fate of the maiden who topes
She lowered her standards by raising her glass
Her courage, her eyes and his hopes
She sipped it, she drank it, she drained it, she did
He quietly refilled it again
And he said, as he secretly carved one more notch
on the butt of his gold-handled cane;

'Have some Madeira, M'dear
I've got a small cask of it here.
And once it's been opened, you know it won't keep
Do finish it off, it'll help you to sleep
Have some Madeira, M'dear
It's really an excellent year
Now if it were Gin you'd be wrong to say yes
The evil gin does would be hard to assess
Besides, it's inclined to affect me prowess
Have some Madeira, M'dear!'

Then it flashed through her mind what her mother has said
with her antepenultimate breath;
'Oh, My child, is you look on the wine that is red
then prepare for a fate worse than death!'
She let go the glass with a shrill little cry
Crash! Tinkle! It fell to the floor
When he asked 'What in heaven?' she made no reply,
Up her mind, and a dash for the door.
'Have some Madeira, M'dear'
Rang out down the hall, loud and clear
A tremulous cry that was filled with despair
As she paused to take breath in the cool midnight air,
'Have some Madeira, M'dear!'
The words seemed to ring in her ear,
Until the next morning, she woke up in bed
With a smile on her lips and an ache in her head
And a beard in her earhole that tickled and said
'Have some Madeira, M'dear!'

*

>>From the album 'At The Drop of a Hat'.

-----Original Message-----
From: Bilwright@-----.net
Subject: [kl] Have Some Madeira, My Dear ??

There was a pair of musicians (piano + voice) who recorded an album
that included "Have Some Madeira, M'Dear", which is a humorous song
about lust and seduction, but the album includes some serious music as
well. The singer had a gravelly voice (when he wanted to) and a beard.
He was in a wheelchair.

I believe I found casual mention of them under the name "Donald and
Swan". Can anyone remember their full names or perhaps the album
title?

Thank you,
Bill

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