Klarinet Archive - Posting 000294.txt from 2001/02

From: jim lande & joyce mason <lande@-----.com>
Subj: RE: [kl] chaos being sold for freedom...
Date: Fri, 9 Feb 2001 00:11:20 -0500

Now that i have gone back and read most of the thread, I realize that this discussion started with some truly nasty situations. However, there are a couple of generalized statements about the lack of discipline in the schools. I only want to address the latter.

When my son (now 18) was in second grade, I got a call at work, dragging me out of a meeting. I was very nervous, I figured it had to be something really important. My son was on the other end of the line meekly saying hello. Why was he calling? Because he had been drawing on the floor with a crayon. Why was he doing that. Because they made him sit on the floor, gave him a crayon and no paper and nothing else to do. He got bored and started doodling. I said not to draw on the floor again and then asked to talk to whatever adult was standing there with him. The lady was not sure if the facts were exactly as my son had stated. She thought that maybe he already had the crayon when he was told to sit on the floor.
She had no idea why he was on the floor or what he was supposed to be doing there. I asked why they had called and the lady explained that it was their policy to call parents when there were discipline problems. I asked what I was supposed to do. Nope, her job was to call me and let my son explain what he did. I guess the policy was to share the confusion.

I generally I believe that the parents role is to encourage kids to with with and work around problem teachers, rules, and fellow students. Oh, and also to realize when they themselves are the problem. Later in life they will have problem bosses, coworkers, friends and relations. Following rules is no defense against a problem boss, coworker, etc. Learning to solve problems and attain goals is.

I have volunteered significant amounts of time with a youth soccer club over the past 12 years. Naturally, there is a league rule book with all kinds of rules for all situations. Fortunately, the director (ex-military) believes that in most situations, one uses the simple, unwritten rule number 1. Figure out what is best for the kids. The other rules are guidelines for avoiding trouble and the fallback for when there is a real problem or where hotheads can't talk things through and reach consensus. Volunteers who are sticklers for rules find this all frustrating. On the other hand, we have had three thousand kids playing each season and remarkably few problems. Some people are really good at following rules and
some are really good at getting things done. These are not always the same people. When I hear people bemoan the lack of discipline in schools, I suspect it is the former sorts of people who want to covert the world to their ways since that is the standard to which they excel.

And now you know why I never did well in high school band.

cheers
jim lande

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