Klarinet Archive - Posting 000081.txt from 2001/02

From: Rich Gordley <rgordley@-----.net>
Subj: [kl] Re: klarinet Digest 3 Feb 2001 21:15:01 -0000 Issue 2872
Date: Sat, 3 Feb 2001 20:51:21 -0500

Hear, hear!! And a couple of bravos to boot!!

>Bill Wright wrote,
> > This time it wasn't a member of my family, but this week I saw
> >another case of a teacher (not at the store where I take lessons)
> >withholding praise and a green ribbon from a child who was trying and
> >finally got a passage approximately but not completely correct.
> > It's so sad to see that happen. I have no idea what the teacher's
> >motive was, but I certainly wouldn't let him within 50 feet of *my*
> >daughter.
>
>Maybe there's not enough information here for me to get an opinion, but I
>think it's wrong to withhold praise from a child who is trying. I think
>children learn better if people give them credit for trying. But that's not
>the same as withholding a green ribbon, is it? Maybe the ribbon was a prize
>for *succeeding*, which is different and higher-level than *trying*.
>
>I have an ax to grind here because I went to a private school where the idea
>of "entitlement" was in fashion. They had the idea that school should be fun
>and that kids were fragile and delicate and had to be coaxed. It was a
>disaster. They praised us all the time over nothing. All we had to do was
>show up and not kill each other. They had us stand up together in class and
>chant, "I AM somebody! I AM somebody!" IMHO you're nobody if you don't
>learn how to accomplish something. What you are is what you do.
>
>I thought school was easy and I was happy to get away with high grades for
>doing almost nothing. What a surprise when I got to college, and I had to
>take remedial English classes because basically I was illiterate, after being
>an honor student in high school. The high school diploma was worthless. I
>started college way behind kids who went to tougher schools. It was
>humiliating and twice as hard to have to go back and learn the high school
>work while trying to go to college at the same time. It shouldn't have been
>necessary. I wasn't stupid and I could have worked harder when I was
>younger. It was partly my fault because I wasn't mature enough to see that I
>should push myself, but how many kids won't get away with whatever they can?
>The adults needed to take charge and push me more. They were too afraid of
>discouraging me if they held me up to some standards.
>
>It was the same in music. We sounded like a riot in hell and the teachers
>and parents would clap and tell us how wonderful we were. It was bogus and
>we knew it. We didn't get *real* self-respect that way.
>
>I want my kids to go to a school where they give praise *when it's due* but
>where they also have some *expectations*. The kids need responsibilities,
>not just pats on the head. I think it's actually insulting to a smart kid to
>praise a failure and give a prize for it. It's better to explain what's not
>right and how to improve it. Otherwise the kid ends up thinking, "I must be
>stupid, because they've given up on me. If I had any potential, they'd
>expect more from me." Maybe that's not what was going on in this situation
>Bill Wright describes (sorry if I'm misreading it, Bill, I don't mean to jump
>on you about it), but I think ribbons and prizes should mean something and I
>think they should be saved for succeeding, not just for showing up.
>
>Cass Hill
>(delurking with flameproof moon suit)
>
>------------------------------

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