Klarinet Archive - Posting 000888.txt from 2001/01

From: Gary Truesdail <gir@-----.net>
Subj: Re: [kl] Life's little mysteries.....
Date: Fri, 26 Jan 2001 22:05:47 -0500

I heard a rumor from a "not willing to be identified source" that the type of
cork grease tube you are using in your experiments was actually made by the
financial wizards in congress that decide how much money we lowly citizens
should pay in taxes. The rumor was only half true. The tube was actually
designed by the Sorcerers 7th apprentice.. It was supposed to be device in
which you hid your folding money before you retired to your bed for a good
nights sleep or whatever else you do in such environs. The plan was that
when you fell asleep the magic tube would magically create a direct
connection through cyber space to the U.S. Treasury Repository and syphon off
a little of your cash, but not enough that you could notice. The device did
not work as planned. They never could work out the connection part. They
hadn't invented the telephone or computer yet, but the Apprentice and the
Sorcerer thought the idea was worth a try, but a good number of the devices
made it into the beta testing stage and were distributed to the far corners
of the land. The extra cash collected by the omnipotent and wizened leaders
would allow them to increase the dollar amount in the foreign aid coffers so
that they could make generous donations to countries that are involved in
mutual extermination exercises. These donations, now called "Foreign Aid",
would allow the recipients to increase the funding to their musician unions
MPTF accounts, thereby enabling the local clarinet players to march into the
battlefields playing music to soothe the savage beasts and bring peace to the
antagonistic participants. This was in ancient times when the most popular
musical organizations were comprised of clarinets, trumpets, drums and
bagpipes. So many musicians were lost in battle, mainly the players of
clarinet and trumpet, because they were always in the front rows, but most of
the pipers and drummers survived. This is why, in modern times, you don't
see clarinet or trumpets in a pipe band and orchestras, after they had to
recruit string players, are much larger than a performing concert band.

I'm curious. How is it that the pipers and drummers always survived?

William Wright wrote:

>
> I didn't think of aspirin, but I did do the tape last night ---

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