Klarinet Archive - Posting 001151.txt from 2000/12

From: rgarrett@-----.edu
Subj: Re: [kl]sherman tanks continued
Date: Thu, 21 Dec 2000 13:42:16 -0500

Excerpt from "Coping With Difficult People" by Robert M. Bramson, Ph.D.,
published by Dell Publishing Group, Inc.

Understanding why Sherman Tanks behave the way they do:

Sherman Tanks have strong needs to prove to themselves, and others, that
their view of the world is always right. Tasks to be done seem clear and
concrete to them, and the way to perform them straightforward and
simple. They get impatient with those who don't see what to them is
plainly there. When resistance to their own plans is perceived or
anticipated, imapatience turns quickly to irritation, righteous
indignation, or outright anger.

Sherman Tanks have a strong sense of what others SHOULD do; this quality is
coupled with the forcefulness and supreme confidence that stem from the
very fact that they have don so well at pulverizing others. Sadly - for
others, that is - Tanks seem to lack the leavening of caring and trust that
in most of us prevent the overuse of aggression.

Sherman Tanks usually achieve their short-run objectives, but they do so at
the cost of honest disagreement from others, lost friendships, and the
long-term erosion of relationships with their co-workers. Those people who
are abrasive enough to be called "difficult" seem to lack the capacity to
receive and accept feedback about their impact on others. They lack that
critical discernment which helps to differentiate those situations which
might indeed call for an overwhelming attack from those which should
receive much less force.

Because Sherman Tanks value aggressiveness and confidence, the tend to
devalue those they believe lack these qualities. Unfortunately, demeaning
others is one way to create a sense of self-importance and superiority. If
I can make you out to be weak, faltering, or equivocal, then I will seem,
to myself and to others, strong and sure. That is the learned
rule-of-thumb that sits in the back of the Sherman Tank's mind. It is, of
course, to some extent true. That is why it was learned and reinforced.

Sherman Tanks, then, are driven by a need to deomonstrate that they are
right. The feel righteous anger toward those who do not do as the
"should," which justifies hurting them. Finally, they expect others to run
from them, and devalue them when they do.

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