Klarinet Archive - Posting 000255.txt from 2000/12

From: LeliaLoban@-----.com
Subj: [kl] Apostrophe
Date: Tue, 5 Dec 2000 10:30:02 -0500

I spent an extended weekend in Boston (more about that in another message)
and missed the battle of the apostrophes, but must put in my two cents as a
staff writer for _Scarlet Street_, an ESL instructor, a chronic abuser of
writing workshops and a former teaching assistant in English classes at the
University of California at Davis. Gavin Rebetzke got the technicalities
exactly right in his message under the subject heading <[kl] Legere Reeds
(warning: apostrophe content)> where he quoted Fowler. To use "Tony's" as a
plural is a barbarism. Two or more people named Tony are Tonys. Still, this
whole discussion came about because several people would rather not use the
word "Tonys." IMHO, even though those people made a technical mistake, they
got the deeper issue right: "Tonys" isn't wrong, true, but it *looks* bad.
Better to avoid that type of awkward construction altogether, by rewriting
the sentence.

I had the same feeling while reading _It's All in the Music_ (New York:
Ferrar, Straus & Giroux, 1963), by Doris G. Monteux, wife of conductor Pierre
Monteux. She refers to herself and her husband as, "The Monteuxs." She's
correct, but it's lousy writing anyway! (It has company. The book is a
treasure trove of anecdotes, but, among other things, she often calls her
husband "The Maestro" and she writes the book in the form of letters
addressed directly to the reader as "Caro," in the second person. Ick.)

Roger Shilcock wrote,
>Over here, the "Tony's" sort of apostrophe gets called "the greengrocers'
>apostrophe" -- because of the prevalence of signs in their shops reading
>"spring green's", "brussel's sprout's", "runner bean's", and, even,
"tomatoe's"
>(no kidding..).

My favorite aspostrophical whimsy appeared on a sign taped to a sand-filled
pedestal ashtray in the hallway of an apartment building in Oakland,
California, USA. Kevin and I lived there in 1969, the year before we
married. We didn't exactly live in the high rent district. We lived in the
district where, on the way into the walkup building, one stepped over the
sleeping drunk curled up on the stair landing. Anyhow, the sign said,

THIS. IS. A. ASH. TRAY.
FOR. CIG. BUT'S.
NOT. FOR. GAR. BAG'S.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The spelling and the punctuation are original, although I can't swear to the
exact number of exclamation points! ;-)

Lelia

------------------------------

Date: Tues, 5 Dec 2000 13:13:13 EST
From: ShadowCat@-----.com
Subject: Re: [kl] Apostrophe
Message-ID: <666@-----.com>

I'm making my stupid pet human type this. She wrote,
>I spent an extended weekend in Boston

Speaking of rules, she broke some big ones and I will make her pay. My
humans aren't allowed in airplanes and they aren't allowed to stay out
overnight. Yes, both my humans went away for a long weekend and left me all
alone except for John, who came in once a day -- the one bright spot in an
otherwise dreary weekend, since it's easy to beguile Uncle John, the Kitty's
Pal, into thinking he misread the sheet of instructions. He responded to my
heartrending wails by feeding me double meals the whole time my humans were
gone.

But on the dark side, my humans came home smelling of *dog*. They did.
*Dog.* Feh! Feh! Feh! They can't deny it. He left tufts of his stinky fur
all over their clothes. I also detected the faint but persistent stench of
ancient, craven, cynical, *mutant* screech-sticks. She may not have touched
them, but she was in the same room with them. Cats know these things.

Shadow Cat
extremely miffed

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