Klarinet Archive - Posting 000245.txt from 2000/11

From: LeliaLoban@-----.com
Subj: [kl] Final Chapter, Stolen Bass Clarinet
Date: Sat, 4 Nov 2000 17:27:13 -0500

"Jim" writes,
>I never was, am not
>now, nor will I ever be, a thief. I do not deal in stolen merchandise.

Yeah, okay, I guess since he says so, it must be true. I'm sure nobody would
ever lie about a thing like that, right? :-(

> Nor do I buy items off the street, at flea markets or yard sales.

So what? I *do* buy at flea markets and yard sales, and get rid of stuff I
don't want at my own annual yard sale. Nothing wrong with recycling.

>I am licensed by the City of New York to possess rifles and shotguns
>and recently declined to renew my NYPD pistol permit, which I held,
>without incident, for twenty five years.

What's the point of that comment? Veiled threat that the fortress is
guarded? Sheesh, does he think a goon squad of clarinetists plans to raid
his crib?

(Oh no! Here they come, in unison, fortissimo, over the garden wall!
They're clad in sinister tuxedos and little black dresses, and they're armed
to the teeth. Yes, they've got their axes, and reed holsters packed with
deadly Ricos and Vandorens -- Huyaaaaaaaah!!!! They're letting fly with the
Mitchell Luries, whippity whippity whippity end over end through the air!
Slllkkk! A LaVoz in the eye! And -- oh no! -- right behind the onslaught of
reed-throwing woodwind ninjas come the altissimo blasters, letting loose wave
after wave of screaming sonic fury! No mortal sidearms can withstand them!)

>I purchased an instrument at public auction, no more no less. In this
>instance, an auction held by the NYPD. I'm sure that somewhere in the
>property clerk division, a serial number has been recorded, the item
>marked as evidence and this should somehow tie into an arrest. You will
>find that my name is not on the arrest sheet.

Who has *seen* this police record?

>You called me a jerk in print, which is your right to do, but you're the guy
>whose stuff got ripped off, not me. I keep my valuables in a very safe
>lockup. And since I was in legal possession of what may have been your old
>ax, I have disposed of it, as was my lawful right to do. You sir, will
never
>again see the piece in question.
[snip]
>Had you just been cool, we probably could have worked it out. I know it
>pains you but you are no longer the legal owner of a particular instrument,
>which, by the by, was in super condition. You will just have to live with
>that.

That's nothing but a schoolyard taunt, combined with his threat to sue
everyone in sight for besmirching what *he says* is his good name. (Someone
remind me again . . . who is he, exactly, other than "Jim"?) If he wanted to
keep his good name, he wouldn't play "eyesight ain't what it used to be"
games about the serial number and he'd not only be willing to present proof
he really owns that instrument -- he'd *insist* on proving he owns it.
Instead, he's hastily gotten rid of the evidence and he's still trying to
bully everyone into dropping the subject.

Does the insurance company think this is "the final chapter?" Do the cops
think it's final? Does eBay think it's final? So far the evidence in this
guy's favor amounts to bubkes except *his word for it* that he's the soul of
honesty. Re. morality and ethics, though, he adds,

>And finally, to the moral and ethical crowd, quite frankly, at this
juncture,
>I pass gas on the lot of you.

Okay. Guess we know exactly where he stands on that issue. Guess I know how
far I'd trust this guy, too: Not as far as his fart can fly in a downdraft.

Lelia
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I am not a crook."
--Richard Nixon
~~~~~~~~~~~~

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Unsubscribe from Klarinet, e-mail: klarinet-unsubscribe@-----.org
Subscribe to the Digest: klarinet-digest-subscribe@-----.org
Additional commands: klarinet-help@-----.org
Other problems: klarinet-owner@-----.org