Klarinet Archive - Posting 000048.txt from 2000/10

From: LeliaLoban@-----.com
Subj: [kl] Ad hominem?
Date: Mon, 2 Oct 2000 10:09:00 -0400

Re: [kl] Ad hominem?

Ann H Satterfield suggested,
>Be a hero. Let it go.

Nicely put. I hope I think about that, next time I'm tempted to pop off at
somebody.

Best--
Lelia

---------------------------------------------

Date: Mon, 02 Oct 2000 00:00:O,NO
From: Dick Vigorous <lelialoban@-----.com>
Subject: Re: [kl] Ad hominem?
Message-ID: <000the-ratline000>

Aw, ya spoilsports! Just when it's gettin' good! Ya know, ya humans could
learn some stuff from us rats. Nothin' we like better'n a real good fight.
Ya gotta promote it a little. Whatcha gotta do next is start in on each
other's mamas. Like, ya know, "Yer mama's a sewer rat."

"Yer mama's a *pet* rat."

"Yer mama's a *lab* rat. Gotta run through a maze to git her dinner."

"Oh yeah? Well, yer mama was bred special, fer testin' *diseases*."

Then ya go rollin' over 'n' over 'n' over an' bite each other hard. Ya
humans, ya hardly know how to have fun no more. I peeked in on some of them
Olympics on the TV. Aw, lizards, what a buncha bunk. Them so-called fights,
that wrestlin', an' boxin', sheesh, they wear all this protective gear so
can't nobody git hurt. What's the point? An' then they got this killjoy
hangin' around, jumpin' in between 'em and goin', "No, no, ya can't do this,
ya can't do that." An' them mugs, what does they do? Does they toss this
twit outta the ring and jump each other good? Naw, naw, they *bows* to the
guy an' they does what he says! Gotta obey a buncha silly rules. Gotta be
gentlemen an' do "sportsmanlike conduct." Phooey! They shoulda had Olympic
Naked Mud Wrestlin', ya know, with hair-pullin', an' eye-gougin', and bitin'.
That's the ticket.

Well, I ain't surprised people wants to stop a clarinet fight, cuz my
relatives in Oklahoma was kinda disappointed 'bout them so-called
competitions at that Clarinet Infest. They liked the clarinet squealin' an'
all, 'cept it seemed that winnin' involved *not* squeakin' which I guess is
kinda like a donkey race -- and also, everybody's too respectful.
Borrrrr-ring!! I mean there's so much great stuff ya can do with a clarinet!
Ya kin bash someone on the head with it. Ya kin sneak up behind people an'
clamp it against their throats an' strangle 'em. But ya didn' do none of
that!

The nightly news, though, that's gettin' pretty good, almost as good as a
snuff film. Hey, there's a thought. The music stuff, that's too nicey-nice.
Nobody really wants to fight about music, when ya got religion, politics,
border disputes, immigration, abortion, civil rights, the death penalty,
assisted suicide, gun control -- Why stop at arguin' over Microsoft? Ya got
a lotta great stuff to fight about! Us rats, we'll just sit here in the
woodwork an' cheer ya on!

Keep 'em squeakin'!
Yer best fan,
Dick Vigorous
Fat Rat on the Block

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