Klarinet Archive - Posting 000028.txt from 2000/10

From: rgarrett@-----.edu
Subj: Re: [kl] defintion continued
Date: Sun, 1 Oct 2000 19:46:08 -0400

I thought it might be interesting to present the definition of Ad Hominem
as it appears in Webster:

1. Appealing to prejudice and emotion rather than to reason. 2.
Attacking the character, motives, etc. of an opponent rather than debating
the issue on logical grounds.

When one jumps to a conclusion that can be interpreted as deragatory before
a discussion has actually begun, or when one criticizes the character of
said company, person, etc. prior to a debate of any kind, it can be viewed
as an ad hominem attack. One might want to "save face" after the fact by
saying that they were only trying to discuss the issue and that it was an
argument - not a blatant insult unrelated to diaglogue, but if the insults
were there and conclusions were made regarding a person because of their
positon with a company (for example), and the nature of the "attack" is a
surprinsing one to several people, it becomes obvious that the person is
more than likely backpedalling, trying to save face. It is a very common
mistake that people make when they do not think before saying things - when
they do not carefully weigh possible reactions of others before making a
statement of fact or opinion. That is often why people refer to such
statements as adolescent.......or childish - which they most certainly are.
Children often say things before thinking about the consequences.....then
they spend an inordinate amount of time saying, "well, I didn't REALLY say
that," or, "I didn't REALLY mean what you think I meant." It is an obvious
and ridiculous ploy to believe that others would really buy such an argument!

Most people can see through the silly charade, and, for the most part, we
ignore it because most of the time it will go away. In those instances,
most people who have moral and ethical feelings and truly care about those
they debate with will feel badly if someone else concludes something that
wasn't intended. In most social and gracious circles, people say, "I'm
sorry if I offended you. It wasn't my intent. What I meant to say
was........(X,Y,Z). I guess my frustration and anger is a result
of.........(such and such)." The sincerely honest and gracious person
admits wrong when they are wrong. They don't imply it, and they don't ask
you to read between the lines by going trying to distract us from the
issue. They are specific, they are direct, and they are honestly sincere.

We all know people who are incapable of simply saying, "I was wrong to do
that. I'm sorry." The funny thing is, we appreciate an apology when it
is sincerely and thoughtfully stated - without pointing fingers at others
for our own mistakes. We usually accept a person's apology and ask them to
go on and say what they should have said to begin with - and then continue
to discuss the issue in an "adult" way. Most people don't hold grudges
with those who make an honest mistake and admit it. Alas, when a person
does not apologize because of pride and ego, they often conclude that,
since no one challenged them, they must have been right all along. These
kinds of people go on in life to continue making the same mistakes over,
and over again. It is a very sad thing.

These are just my thoughts on a beautiful Sunday evening as I watch my
children play outside with the neighbor kids - and I enjoy a really great
cabrenet! You can learn quite a bit watching children interact with each
other. We should all do it as often as possible!

Warm wishes,
Roger Garrett

Roger Garrett
Professor of Clarinet
Director, Symphonic Winds
Advisor, IWU Recording Services
Illinois Wesleyan University
School of Music
Bloomington, IL 61702-2900
(309) 556-3268

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