Klarinet Archive - Posting 001047.txt from 2000/08

From: Bilwright@-----.net (William Wright)
Subj: Re: [kl] Boring tools
Date: Thu, 31 Aug 2000 18:56:51 -0400

<><> Shadow Cat made her stupid human write:

And I want to toss some fishskin pads in the air and make them do
twirlies.

Hello. <squawk!> I'm pleased to meet you, Shadow. I couldn't
help noticing your infatuation with 'twirlies'. We bird folk can twirl
and whirl and zip and zoom in the sky whenever we please. It's great
fun. <squawk!> I don't blame you for being envious.

But then, there are a few things you cat folk can do which we
can't. Each to his own environmental niche, that's what I say. You
haven't lived, Shadow, until you've sung Beethoven's Ninth while soaring
above the clouds, or the Resurrection Symphony. I can pronounce the
actual words, you know, not just howl 'em. <squawk!> The thinner air
above the clouds changes the overtone ratios just enough to.... but
we're not interested in techie talk today, are we?

<><> All the tools are boring and I'm bored to death when the
human, whose lap is supposed to be available to me at all times on
demand, moves the lap into the workroom and closes the door. All spaces
in this house are mine. I have my rights. Closing doors to keep me out
is illegal. I like it when she takes screech-sticks apart (I hope it
hurts a lot when she dismembers them -- she should only leave them that
way!), but she won't let me play with the pads, or bat the screws and
springs and keys around the floor and knock some sense into them

Don't you just pity those human beings, Shadow? They have to
assemble little bits of metal and plastic and wood into things that they
call 'instruments' in order to attempt what we do naturally and more
beautifully. But humans have their own environmental niche, and they
help fill out the Universe, I suppose.
....but hey, Shadow Cat, I notice that you like to bat things
around a lot. If those marshmallow paws of yours <squawk!> ever want
to *build* something, like a nest or something, let me know. I'll be
glad to help out. I've got claws that can grip with damaging, and a
beak, you know. I'm quite talented that way. I never did understand
why an animal would want to sit in a human's lap. But each of us has
our own niche, I always say.

Cheers, chickadee!
Manny the Major Mynah, Key to the Universe

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