Klarinet Archive - Posting 000093.txt from 2000/08

From: Bilwright@-----.net (William Wright)
Subj: [kl] 10 Reasons.....
Date: Sun, 6 Aug 2000 23:10:36 -0400

10 reasons why I'm not going to practice today:

(1) I cooked fresh garlic for lunch today, and I don't want my
clarinet to smell bad.

(2) When I play, my pet gerbil goes crazy and runs in his wheel, and I
can't hear my metronome.

(3) My son is using my swab as a flag for his raft, and he says I
can't have the swab back until the big sea battle is over and the
pirates surrender, which won't be until tomorrow.

(4) I want to practice Flight of the Bumblebee, but I'm afraid that
I'll get a blister on my tongue.

(5) My cat is in heat, and I'm afraid that she'll misunderstand the
meaning of my alto notes.

(6) My daughter was playing with the thermostat, and she turned the
heater up so high that my cork grease melted.

(7) The battery in my metronome is dead. My teacher told me never to
practice without a metronome.

(8) I've been cheating a little on my diet, and whenever I practice a
scale, I feel guilty about my weight.

(9) I went hiking today, and I brushed against an unfamiliar plant.
It may have been poison oak, and I don't want to contaminate my
clarinet. You can never be too careful about these things.

(10) I just finished a bottle of sherry, and when I started to
practice, I realized that I sound so good that I don't need to practice!

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