Klarinet Archive - Posting 000429.txt from 2000/07

From: Bill Hausmann <bhausman@-----.com>
Subj: [kl] No Mozart?
Date: Tue, 11 Jul 2000 08:35:48 -0400

I forward the following with the caveat that it has NOT been checked for
historical accuracy, only for humor content. Please accept it in that light.

Dear Dean X:
I write in response to your suggestion of an appointment to our faculty
for Mr. W. A. Mozart currently of Vienna, Austria. While the Music Department
appreciates your interest, faculty are sensitive about their prerogatives in
the selection of new colleagues.

While the list of works and performances that the candidate submitted is
undoubtedly a full one, though not always accurate in the view of our
musicologists, it reflects activity outside education. Mr. Mozart does
not have an earned doctorate; indeed, very little in the way of formal
training or teaching experience. There is a good deal of instability, too,
evidenced in the resume. Would he really settle down in a large state
university? And while we have no church connections, as chairman I must
voice a concern over the incidents with the Archbishop of Salzburg. They
hardly confirm his abilities to be a good team man. I know that the strong
supporting letter from Mr.Haydn, himself a successful composer, suggests
that some of the candidate's problems are not really to the heart of the
matter. But Mr. Haydn is writing from a very special situation. Esterhazy
is a well-funded private institution, rather a long way from our
university, and better able than we are to accommodate a non-academic like
Mr. Haydn. Our concern is not just with the most gifted, but, because
state funds are involved, with all
who come to us seeking an education in music. I have drawn to your
attention many times the budget and space problems in the department.

The musicology faculty did say after the interview that Mr. Mozart seemed
to have little knowledge of music before Bach and Handel. If he were only
to teach composition, that might not be a serious impediment, but we expect
everyone to be able to assume some of the burden of large undergraduate
survey classes in music history.

The applied faculty were impressed by his piano playing, rather old-
fashioned though some thought it to be. That he also performed on the
violin and viola seemed for us to be stretching versatility dangerously thin.
The composition faculty were in the same way skeptical about his extensive
output. They rightly warn us from their own experience that to receive
many performances is no guarantee of quality, and the senior professor
points out that Mr. Mozart promotes many of these performances himself. He
has never won the support of a major foundation. One of my colleagues was
present a year or two ago at the premiere of, I believe, a violin sonata,
and he discovered afterwards that Mr. Mozart had indeed not fully written
out the piano part before he played it. This may be all very well in that
world, but it sets poor a example to students in their assignments, and one
can only think with trepidation of a concerto performance by our student
orchestra with Mr. Mozart.

Naturally, he proved to be an entertaining man at dinner and spoke
amusingly of his travels. It was perhaps significant that he and our
colleagues seemed to have few acquaintances in common. One lady,
colleague was offended by an anecdote our guest told and left early.
We are glad as a faculty to have had the chance to meet the visitor, but
do not see our way to recommending an appointment, and least of all with
tenure. Our first need, as I have emphasized to your office, is for a
specialist in music education primary methods.

Please give my regards to Mr. Mozart when you write him. I am sure he
will continue to do well in that very different world he has chosen and
which suits him better, I believe, than higher education.

Yours Sincerely,

Mr. Y,
Chairman
Department of Music

P.S. Some good news. Our senior professor of composition tells me
there is now a very good chance that a movement of his concerto will have its
premiere next season. You will remember that his work was commissioned
by a foundation and won first prize nine years ago.

Bill Hausmann bhausman@-----.com
451 Old Orchard Drive http://homepages.go.com/~zoot14/zoot14.html
Essexville, MI 48732 ICQ UIN 4862265

If you have to mic a saxophone, the rest of the band is too loud.

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