Klarinet Archive - Posting 000138.txt from 2000/05

From: GrabnerWG@-----.com
Subj: [kl] Catalog blurbs was......Re: [kl] Re: [Re: [kl] Early Beethoven, etc...]
Date: Wed, 3 May 2000 18:15:38 -0400

In a message dated 5/1/00 4:17:44 PM Central Daylight Time,
leeson0@-----.net writes:

<< To speak of an
instrument that they first came out with relatively few years ago and
which, prior to that time, had not been heard for almost 200 years as
having a "normally weaker register" is so marketing, that it is blatant
sham. >>

I suggest a 10 year moratorium, where ALL clarinet ad copy is written by Dan
Leeson.....

What do you say Dan? With this ONE opportunity, you could banish the word
d**k from the clarinet vocabulary.

(Who wants a dark tone anyway?....."What did you think of the concert
dear???" "Oh, it was DARK"............."I loved that violinists TONE....it
was so DARK!!!!!!......Try that one sometime.)

WG wants to write the.mouthpiece blurbs........(Wicked glee!!!!!!!!!!!)

"The XYZ Famous Dead Clarinetist Mouthpiece comes in basic black, somewhat
shiny, but will IMMEDIATELY become permanently SCRATCHED the first time you
use it. It play wil a dull, muffled tone, due to the fact that the table is
warped in ALL dimensions simultaneously - this in itself a nearly miraculous
feat of Engineering.

The dramatic SQUEAKS produced by the XYZ FDC Mouthpiece are caused by an
uneven facing aggravated by warped side rails which have escaped our
non-existant quality control."

"Try the XYZ Famous Dead Clarinetist Mouthpiece......you'll even play better
than him.....Because he's DEAD!!!!!!"

$70 at all fine music centers!

WG....
Oh my...........how cynical

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Unsubscribe from Klarinet, e-mail: klarinet-unsubscribe@-----.org
Subscribe to the Digest: klarinet-digest-subscribe@-----.org
Additional commands: klarinet-help@-----.org
Other problems: klarinet-owner@-----.org