Klarinet Archive - Posting 000494.txt from 2000/03

From: "BHunter" <bhunter@-----.com>
Subj: Re: [kl] Another adult student problem
Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2000 03:03:36 -0500

From: MaryWBalch@-----.com>

Mary,
Please do not take the following as a personal attack, or criticism, but =
only as observations/options on how given situation might be approached. =
Please also forgive any feeble attempts at humor which may try to rear =
their ugly heads.

>I have this problem.
OK. 8^)

>Amongst 20 or so clarinet and saxophone students that I teach, I have 2 =
adult students.
I hope this is not the problem. 8^)

>One plays clarinet and the other tenor saxophone.
This is not the problem either? 8^)

>The lady that is playing clarinet is about 40-45 years old.
This sounds like the exact opposite of a problem to me. 8^)

>She likes to play all the time, which is a good thing.
Yes it is. Still waiting for the problem... 8^)

>The bad part is that she keeps on playing even when I am talking to =
her.
The bad part is that you keep talking even when she is playing for you. =
8^)
This could be possibly construed as rude, but that's all, and maybe not =
even that. 8^)

>So we end up wasting about 5 minutes of a 30 minute lesson with this =
problem.
We??? Wasting?? Only a whole five minutes? 8^)

>I really don't want to embarrass her by calling it to her attention,
Then don't. 8^)

>but I'm getting about sick and tired of it!
Oh. Gee, whose lessons are these, anyway, yours or hers? 8^)

>Adults should know better!
Yes, we should. 8^)

>None of my other students act like this.
And we all know that different means bad. 8^)

>My other adult student is a 30-35 year old male.
???

>This particular lady knows my father from a previous job that he had =
and I am wondering if she=20
>perceives me as being young and ignorant, since I am 27 years old.
And the drapes probably don't match the couch. 8^)
If she perceives you as "young and ignorant" why is she coming to you =
for lessons?

>Anybody else have any problems like this?
No.

My problems concern things like forgetting who is the employer and who =
is the employee. When I fail to determine and adapt to my student's =
needs, when I fail to hear what they are trying to tell me by words or =
deeds, I'm failing my half of the communication bargain.

My adult students are told that the 30 minutes is theirs, I'm there to =
guide them on their musical journey. Sometimes detours are necessary. =
There's a human being inside the student suit and sometimes one set of =
needs overrides another.

One of the first two things I tell every new student is, "These are =
_your_ lessons, not mine." (Followed by some elaboration about what I =
mean by that.) Anytime I forget about that, and start imposing _my_ =
absolute wants instead of what _they_ need to do to *do the music*, I =
get in trouble.

When an adult approaches me for lessons, one of the things I tell them =
is, "You've come to me for guidance to embark on your own personal music =
journey. It's going to be my job to find out where you want to go, and =
how you're going to let me lead you there."

Food for thought, or the delete button, whichever you prefer. 8^)

Sincerely,
Bruce Hunter
bhunter@-----.com

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