Klarinet Archive - Posting 000194.txt from 2000/03

From: "Jim O'Briant" <jobriant@-----.com>
Subj: [kl] "Scientific Thinking at its Best"
Date: Sun, 5 Mar 2000 23:36:28 -0500

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the professor shared
it with colleagues.

"BONUS QUESTION: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?"

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats up when compressed) or some variant. One
student, however, wrote the following:

"First we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing over time. So, we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate they
are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it
will not leave; therefore, no souls are leaving.

"As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions of the world. Some of these religions state that you'll go to Hell
if you're not a member of their religion. Since there are more than one of
these religions, and since people don't belong to more than one religion, we
can project that ALL souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they
are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

"Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell, because Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay
constant, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This allows for two possibilities:

1.) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

2.) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.

"So, is it 1.) or 2.)?

"If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my
freshman year 'that it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you'
and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in winning
Ms. B's affections, then 2.) cannot be true; and thus I am certain Hell is
exothermic and will not freeze."

The student received the only "A" on the exam.

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