Klarinet Archive - Posting 000185.txt from 2000/03

From: "David B. Niethamer" <dnietham@-----.edu>
Subj: [kl] Completely OT - "Scientific Thinking at its Best"
Date: Sun, 5 Mar 2000 21:47:27 -0500

The following came to me, and I send it on to the many scientists on the
list...
***************************************************************************
*****
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the professor
shared it with colleagues.

"BONUS QUESTION: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?"

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats up when compressed) or some variant. One
student, however, wrote the following:

"First we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing over time. So, we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave; therefore, no souls are leaving.

"As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions of the world. Some of these religions state that you'll go to
Hell if you're not a member of their religion. Since there are more than
one of these religions, and since people don't belong to more than one
religion, we can project that ALL souls go to hell. With birth and death
rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially.

"Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell, because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell
to stay constant, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.
This allows for two possibilities:

1.) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2.) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.

"So, is it 1.) or 2.)?

"If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my
freshman year 'that it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with
you' and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in
winning Ms. B's affections, then 2.) cannot be true; and thus I am
certain Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

The student received the only "A" on the exam.

David Niethamer
Principal Clarinet, Richmond Symphony
dnietham@-----.edu
http://members.aol.com/dbnclar1/

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Unsubscribe from Klarinet, e-mail: klarinet-unsubscribe@-----.org
Subscribe to the Digest: klarinet-digest-subscribe@-----.org
Additional commands: klarinet-help@-----.org
Other problems: klarinet-owner@-----.org