Klarinet Archive - Posting 000916.txt from 2000/02

From: "James Lytthans" <lytthans@-----.net>
Subj: [kl] New Definitions
Date: Thu, 24 Feb 2000 21:10:14 -0500

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New Definitions
ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now
growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after
they are dead.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do
more damage.
HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MYTH: A female moth.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better. >
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.

------------------------
Jim Lytthans
Principal Clarinet - La Mirada SO,
Claremont Symphonic Winds,
Pomona Concert Band
Member AF of M, Local 47
Backup e-mail k6vry@-----.net

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