Klarinet Archive - Posting 001055.txt from 1999/12

From: alevin@-----. Levin)
Subj: RE: [kl] Alternative Use For A Clarinet
Date: Thu, 30 Dec 1999 17:23:07 -0500

Michael is lucky. When I was in high school (some time ago) I played
clarinet, baritone sax and bassoon (great for flexibility of the
embouchure). At the same time my sister played alto sax and glockenspiel!
The dog would leave the house and my parents would start to scream at each
other.

Allen Levin
At 04:35 PM 12/30/99 -0500, you wrote:
>Michael in Australia -
>
>It's a good thing that you are not in the U.S. The Environmental Protection
>Agency would probably have had you arrested, confiscated your clarinets and
>all other musical instruments that you owned, convicted you of harassing
>wildlife, fined you $10,000, sentenced you to 5 years in prison and 10 years
>probation, during which time you would have been prohibited from playing any
>musical instrument. And you would have been subject to class action
>lawsuits from 15 or 20 environmental groups.----------------Just
>kidding,----------------I hope.
>
>Gene Nibbelin
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: redcedar [mailto:redcedar@-----.au]
>Sent: Thursday, December 30, 1999 6:28 AM
>To: klarinet@-----.org
>Subject: [kl] Alternative Use For A Clarinet
>
>Since moving into my present house some 6 years ago, which borders a
>national park on the north eastern fringe of Sydney, I've often encountered
>the wild-life, but none so frequently as the local possum population.
>Various small groups of them take up residence in the upper-level roof-space
>of the house for various periods, and occasionally move on of their own
>accord. Sometimes they become troublesome, and I've had to arrange for a
>specialist to trap them and move them back into the park. But in time they
>return, or else they spread the word on the possum real-estate internet
>about the soft-touch human living nearby, and another lot moves in.
>
>The current group of possums have been in residence since early Spring,
>probably nesting and raising their young, and now that they are grown, all
>are out and about, doing what possoms do. They are often seen shinning up
>and down nearby trees, and haven't been a problem as the ceiling insulation
>dampens the worst of their excesses. Until now, that is. I took some
>exception, a few nights ago when just before dawn, after returning from
>their nightly foraging, they held a premature New Year's party in the roof,
>frolicking about above my bedroom. They did the same thing the next night
>as well, and I decided to act. As most people are comatose in Australia at
>this time of the year, I was unable to get professional help, so decided to
>tackle it myself during daylight hours. I figured I was going to have
>trouble when I got into the roof-space, and realised that with
>air-conditioning ducting snaking through the higher spaces, I would be
>prevented from getting close enough to the animals, and moving fast enough
>to nab them. And I was unable see where they were anyway.
>
>I decided to try a bit of their own sleep deprivation tricks on them. I got
>an old metal pot, and thumped it vigorously with a wooden ladle, but
>probably did more damage to my ear drums than theirs, for there wasn't any
>movement. I repeated this process over the next couple hours in the hope
>that I would ultimately cause them some anxiety. No apparent result.
>
>Then it was timidly suggested to me that, as our cat usually evacuated the
>room when I picked up the clarinet to practise, perhaps I could do a number
>on the possums. I felt faintly ridiculous, but positioned myself mid-roof
>and let go with an ungodly racket of squeaks and squeals that would horrify
>any self-respecting clarinet teacher. I couldn't see what happened, but I
>was reliably informed by others outside the house, that within a short space
>of time, three furry bodies emerged from under the roof-tiles, and leapt
>into an overhanging tree to make good their escape across the road and into
>the bush. They haven't been back. Yet.
>
>Lateral thinking is not my best thing, but I thought you might be interested
>in this alternative use for a clarinet. Then perhaps Messrs Buffet &
>Crampon might also appreciate knowing the versatility of their instrument
>and the marketing potential for this "weapon". I know there are a couple of
>neighbours round here who would like to engage my services in the near-term.
>
>Michael
>
>
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