Klarinet Archive - Posting 001034.txt from 1999/09

From: "Dan Leeson: LEESON@-----.edu>
Subj: [kl] Cheese and clarinets
Date: Wed, 29 Sep 1999 11:21:32 -0400

I love cheese, particularly cheddar. I can make an entire meal out
of a good Vermont or Canadian Black Diamond cheddar and a piece of
bread. Unfortunately, due to the high fat content of cheddar
cheeses coupled with the state of my arterial system, I rarely eat
it any longer. Sadly, a bowl of mushy oatmeal with a spoon standing up
in it does not make a satisfactory substitute.

So what does this have to do with clarinet playing? Be patient.
I'll get there. Besides, the older I get, the longer it takes me
to get to the point. Just last week I fell asleep in the middle of
one of my own stories, so not-to-the-point had it become.

At least 4, perhaps 5 years ago, there was a lengthy discussion on
this list about the character of clarinet sound. Like many
enlightening discussions, there were viewpoints expressed that
often demonstrated totally opposing views. That's good. That's
positive. When we all start to think exactly alike, we're in
trouble.

The central issue was about the vocabulary used to describe the
character of clarinet sound. I wrote a piece in which, using only
the terminology taken from the LeBlanc clarinet catalog,
clarinet sound was described as being "mature, rich, clear,
youthful, flexible, deep, mellow, with definition, having
roundness, having remarkable character and center, is full-bodied,
full-throated, fat, flexible, responsive, warm, robust, dark,
beautiful, and solid."

Others felt with equal intensity that such a vocabulary could serve
a useful purpose in dealing with a subject as ephemeral as clarinet
sound character.

End of story. And now, back to both cheese and the point (if I can
remember what it was).

Today's NY Times had an article about the nip of autumn coming to
Vermont. That's a very romantic subject for those of us in the
Western part of the U.S.; i.e., the trees turning colors, the maple
syrup to begin in flow into buckets as soon as it turns really
cold, the horse and sleigh Currier and Ives Christmas cards, skiing
in Stowe, cuddling on a hay ride with your honey, etc.

The reason behind the article was to point out how the nip of
autumn affects the production of Vermont's great cheddar cheeses.
I read the story a couple of times, tears coming to my eyes as I
remember the pleasures of a Grafton Extra Sharp cheddar.

And then I saw it: the vocabulary used to describe the character of
Vermont's various cheddar cheeses. I thought I was reading a
clarinet catalog: the cheeses are described as firm, creamy, round
with a clear finish, robust, very sharp, strong, acidic, pleasant,
and with great complexity. Only one description could not be
applied to the character of clarinet sound: "goat flavored."

The next time someone suggests that one should get clarinet X in
order to obtain a robust, dark sound, I am going to recommend that
they buy a Vermont cheddar cheese and, after making a mortise,
stick a mouthpiece in and see how it sounds (or perhaps how it
tastes or smells).

So, "sounding like a goat" does not necessarily have to be a
negative statement when applied to clarinet players. That could be
the natural sound of a "Sugarbush Farm Goat Milk Cheddar."

I think I have stated my point but I'm not really sure because I
fell asleep 5 minutes ago.

Zzzzzz.
=======================================
Dan Leeson, Los Altos, California
leeson@-----.edu
=======================================

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