Klarinet Archive - Posting 000373.txt from 1999/09

From: LeliaLoban@-----.com
Subj: [kl]More Stuffiness
Date: Wed, 15 Sep 1999 09:16:30 -0400

Just to prove it's been a long time since I taught freshman comp, I wrote
this grammatical howler:
>>>>I'm finding that a leak light works well, *if* the room is really dark,
and has the advantage of pinpointing not only the key but the exact position
of the leak. >>>>

Yes, this particular room has many advantages. We think of a room as a space
enclosed by walls, but this room thinks it occupies a transdimensional fold
of reality in which a room can not only pinpoint leaks, but can illuminate
that dark, empty space between the ears.... ;-)

Tony Pay asked where I'd read that the translucent pads make it hard to use a
leak light to detect a leak on a clarinet. I've read that opinion in several
places, including this list, I think, but in particular, Erick D. Brand's
1978 _Band Instrument Repairing Manual_ (still in 1993 reprint from Ferree's)
discusses the problem in the section, "Locating Pad Leaks," beginning on p.
59. He recommends other methods as better than the leak light for clarinets
(he likes blowing smoke, which I won't do for the same reason Tony won't --
smoking, *ick*), but I should have credited Brand for his observation on page
61, "The only way to find leaks by a light test on skin pads is to note the
difference in light intensity." I'd forgotten that's where I got the idea.

Craig Rasband asked,
>>> Is this an automotive light that I can get at Grand Auto? (If so, I'll
make a trip over there today.) Or is this a wind instrument leak light that
he uses to detect leaks in cars? (I'm so confused!) :^} >>>

My leak light is a car tool perverted for clarinetic purposes. A specialized
leak light meant for musical instruments would probably work as well or
better, but I'm too cheap and lazy to go buy one when I can steal Kevin's.
The tool is battery-operated, a small handle (looks and works the same as a
miniature pocket flashlight handle) attached to a flexible gooseneck with an
optical fiber cable inside that leads to a tiny light bulb. Harware stores
and auto shops sell several brands of similar gizmos in different sizes, most
of them thin enough to fit down a clarinet. The flexible gooseneck works
well on a curved saxophone, too. Since the metal parts on the car tool could
scratch up a musical instrument, I wrap duct tape around the metal
temporarily when I have to tie a string around the loop in the handle and
dangle the light down a tenor sax body or anything else that's too long for
the gooseneck to reach far enough in.

Kevin says he thinks he bought his gadget at Trak Auto more than two years
ago and fewer than ten years ago. (He's had several over the years. The
long-lost ones probably live squalid little lives at the bottoms of various
drawers and tell each other things like, "My real father was a Tiffany floor
lamp.") Kevin uses what I call the leak light for all sorts of stuff,
including inspecting brakes. (Against expectations, his 1985 Chevy passed
inspection Monday!)

Tony Pay wrote,
>>My own solution has been to guess at the origin of the leak, and cover the
business end of that particular key with clingfilm. If that doesn't work, I
move on to the next suspect. This both diagnoses and temporarily solves the
problem.>>

What a great idea! By clingfilm, I assume you mean the type of plastic wrap
used in the kitchen for protecting food (Saran Wrap, Cling Wrap, etc.). If
it's something else, please advise.

Mitch Bassman wrote,
>>I'm sorry, but I had to read this final sentence twice. Given the name of
the sender, I read it the first time through as "cat" repair.>>

Haven't tried that yet. I suspect Shadow would take umbrage! She does have
a slight . . . I'd better not call this a deformity . . . a unique feature, a
small, extra cupped flap at the base of one ear that might be rather
interesting to inspect, although it's too delicate for the leak light to fit
into it. She won't say what it is, but it sure looks functional. Probably
it's some sort of sophisticated listening device, attuned to cosmic
frequencies. Maybe that's why she finds the clarinet so offensive. She
hears what it's *really* saying.

Paulette W. Gulakowski wrote,
>Without a light, there could be no "Shadow"...>

How appropriate, since she already thinks the sun revolves around her!
;-)

Lelia
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cat, tapping various objects as he passes them: "This is mine. And this is
mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. I look soooo fine today! Miaowrrrr!"
--BBC-TV, "Red Dwarf"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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