Klarinet Archive - Posting 000620.txt from 1999/08

From: Roger Shilcock <roger.shilcock@-----.uk>
Subj: Re: [kl] Here's a funny one??
Date: Mon, 23 Aug 1999 03:57:53 -0400

I think That cat is by far the sanest contributor to this list.
Roger Shilcock

On Sun, 22 Aug 1999, angella hedrick wrote:

> Date: Sun, 22 Aug 1999 16:43:38 PDT
> From: angella hedrick <angellah@-----.com>
> Reply-To: klarinet@-----.org
> To: klarinet@-----.org
> Subject: Re: [kl] Here's a funny one??
>
>
> at this point, what does this have to do with clarinet things? just
> wondering.
>
> ----Original Message Follows----
> From: LeliaLoban@-----.com
> Reply-To: klarinet@-----.org
> To: klarinet@-----.org
> Subject: [kl] Here's a funny one
> Date: Sun, 22 Aug 1999 16:09:34 EDT
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>
> Dee Hays wrote,
> >I was looking through the eBay listings and learned that the piece we
> stick
> in our mouth is a "mause piece".
>
> I'm making my pet human type this. Well, we already know that many humans
> can't spell "embouchure," so it's hardly surprising they can't spell "mouse"
> either. IWhile we're on the subject, for all the prattling about quality on
> this list, nobody here seems aware of the need to buy a softer, more
> chewable
> mouse piece, so that the training piece would more closely resemble the real
> thing. Despite her advanced age, I don't think my pet human has ever
> succeeded in killing a live mouse with her mouth. Of course, she should
> hand
> her mouse piece over to me, so that I can show her how it's done, but no,
> she
> prefers her ignorance. The stupid primate doesn't even know how to give the
> training mouse a proper bite. I don't think she's got any idea of how to
> shake one to death -- and it certainly needs shaking. Hard. Proper use of
> the training mouse piece would make a good first lesson in how to
> exterminate
> the clarinets that infest this house. Nasty composite life forms: snap
> their
> little heads off. Usually it's "Kill the head and the body dies." That
> doesn't work with clarinets, unfortunately, since to them, R.I.P. means Rest
> in Pieces. But if you killed *all* the heads, at least the bodies couldn't
> screech. She won't listen to me, of course, even though I'm a recognized
> expert on the subject.
>
> Shadow Cat
> ------------------------------
>
> Dear Shadow Cat (you little fraud),
>
> How many mice have you caught lately? In fact, how many mice have you
> caught
> in your whole life? Let's see, if we amortize them over your entire nine
> years, I think they work out to slightly less than a quarter of a mouse per
> year, Ms. Expert. I will concede that you do know how to snap their little
> heads off. There's no need to bring me breakfast in bed again to prove it,
> thank you very much.
>
> Lelia
> (who's tired of taking guff from somebody who's less than a foot tall)
>
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