Klarinet Archive - Posting 000605.txt from 1999/08
From: "angella hedrick" <angellah@-----.com>
Subj: Re: [kl] Here's a funny one??
Date: Sun, 22 Aug 1999 19:43:38 -0400
at this point, what does this have to do with clarinet things? just
wondering.
----Original Message Follows----
From: LeliaLoban@-----.com
Subject: [kl] Here's a funny one
Date: Sun, 22 Aug 1999 16:09:34 EDT
>From klarinet-return-19940-angellah Sun Aug 22 13:09:59 1999
MHotMailB989A4160185D820F3C1CFFCA82822F30; Sun Aug 22 13:09:59 1999
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Dee Hays wrote,
>I was looking through the eBay listings and learned that the piece we
stick
in our mouth is a "mause piece".
I'm making my pet human type this. Well, we already know that many humans
can't spell "embouchure," so it's hardly surprising they can't spell "mouse"
either. IWhile we're on the subject, for all the prattling about quality on
this list, nobody here seems aware of the need to buy a softer, more
chewable
mouse piece, so that the training piece would more closely resemble the real
thing. Despite her advanced age, I don't think my pet human has ever
succeeded in killing a live mouse with her mouth. Of course, she should
hand
her mouse piece over to me, so that I can show her how it's done, but no,
she
prefers her ignorance. The stupid primate doesn't even know how to give the
training mouse a proper bite. I don't think she's got any idea of how to
shake one to death -- and it certainly needs shaking. Hard. Proper use of
the training mouse piece would make a good first lesson in how to
exterminate
the clarinets that infest this house. Nasty composite life forms: snap
their
little heads off. Usually it's "Kill the head and the body dies." That
doesn't work with clarinets, unfortunately, since to them, R.I.P. means Rest
in Pieces. But if you killed *all* the heads, at least the bodies couldn't
screech. She won't listen to me, of course, even though I'm a recognized
expert on the subject.
Shadow Cat
------------------------------
Dear Shadow Cat (you little fraud),
How many mice have you caught lately? In fact, how many mice have you
caught
in your whole life? Let's see, if we amortize them over your entire nine
years, I think they work out to slightly less than a quarter of a mouse per
year, Ms. Expert. I will concede that you do know how to snap their little
heads off. There's no need to bring me breakfast in bed again to prove it,
thank you very much.
Lelia
(who's tired of taking guff from somebody who's less than a foot tall)
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