Klarinet Archive - Posting 001190.txt from 1999/07

From: Bruce Keplinger <bruce@-----.com>
Subj: Re: [kl] Rationality [and rant in manners]
Date: Wed, 28 Jul 1999 23:44:42 -0400

>On Tue, 27 Jul 1999, Bruce Keplinger wrote:
>> Etiquette exists for a reason -- it's many Americans' general lack of
>> it that causes the French to dislike American tourists, for instance.

And At 01:27 AM 7/28/99 -0500, Ed Lacy replied:
>I think the situation you describe is a matter of cultural differences,
>not necessarily of a deficiency of certain social attributes on the part
>of any given nationality. "Uncouth Americans" is a far too broad
>generalization.

I used the "uncouth American" (your term) example because it was
convenient in illustrating a point, and you have in fact elaborated on that
point (though perhaps not intentionally).
Etiquette is not just "good manners;" it involves a level of sensitivity
beyond knowing the protocols in your peer/national group. The story I like
is of the man who, when he saw his dining partner's crude eating habits,
put aside his own "good manners" and ate more like his partner, thus
keeping his friend from feeling awkward.
What it boils down to, is, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." For your
sake *and* theirs.
Now, for the record, I have to defend my example from another angle. To
the French, politeness is far more of a cultural standard than it is in the
states. To expand on the reference I already made to dining, take the
standard American restaurant dining practice of sitting back in their
chairs and speaking loudly enough to be easily heard across the table
(several tables, I might add). Transplanted to France, this is seen as
rude (and quite frankly, I would agree; when I go out to dinner, I want to
engage in conversation with those I am with, without having to fight over
the guy at the table next to me). Clearly it isn't rude to the Americans
who have unknowingly crossed the line into gaucheness, but, really, isn't
it rude to assume that you can go anywhere and behave as if you were at home?
Getting back to the issue of using punctuation, correct spelling and *more
or less* standard English in posts to the list (that is, I believe, where
this thread started), it is not far-fetched to assume that not everyone who
participates on the list has equal facility with the English language;
simple politeness (or sensitivity, or whatever you want to call it)
dictates that we should be clear in our communication, if we want to get
our message across.

Bruce

P.S. In further defense of my American vs. French example, I refer anyone
interested in the subject cultural contrasts to the "Culture Shock" series
of travel books (and others of the same ilk), and another book entitled
"Understanding Europeans;" They shed considerable light on cultural
differences (and are often just plain fascinating), and the issue of
politeness (and the perceived IMpoliteness of Americans) is addressed.

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Unsubscribe from Klarinet, e-mail: klarinet-unsubscribe@-----.org
Subscribe to the Digest: klarinet-digest-subscribe@-----.org
Additional commands: klarinet-help@-----.org
Other problems: klarinet-owner@-----.org