Klarinet Archive - Posting 001122.txt from 1999/07

From: LeliaLoban@-----.com
Subj: [kl] spellings of "embouchure"
Date: Tue, 27 Jul 1999 20:20:10 -0400

Off the list, Jack Kissinger wrote (and gave me permission to quote),
>I only have two comments/corrections, after which you may revise and
resubmit.

>1. "Armiture" I believe the correct description should be, "He's wrapped
too
tight." (unless you are referring to a clarinetist who specializes in
performing
at orgies (ahem!).

>2. It seems to me "Embouchere" would more likely apply to clarinetists who
use
an extremely *open* tipped mouthpiece (e.g., 59mm) rather than a close-tipped
one, probably with a short facing and (at least) #5 Steuer & Esser reeds.>

Corrections and suggestions gladly accepted, especially that one about the
Steuer & Esser reeds. Never heard of 'em! Cool! (Any relationship to Esser
& Fresser?)

Point taken about "tied too tight." Brain-lock on my part. A tied armature
would prove useless. A more appropriate expression would have been, "He's
got his guts wrapped around the axle again," or, "She's so wound up she sings
'cuckoo' on the quarter-hour."

I've also noticed that in the proper spirit of individual freedom from
pedantic exactitude, I gave the spelling of Tony Pay's creative definition
incorrectly as "embrasure" when Jack Kissinger actually gave it as
"embasure". According to the Reliable Source, "embrasure" is something else
entirely!

Embrasure: The embouchure used by students attempting to seduce their
teachers, or taught by teachers attempting to seduce their students. All
together now, let's spell "J-A-I-L-B-A-I-T"....

Richard Bush wrote,
>go for this one--omisure
think it came from alt.music.saxophone--today>

According to the Reliable Source....

Omisure: The Omisure results from omission of anything particularly
problematical from the student's practice schedule. Why sweat the small
stuff? You, too, can learn the Omisure in only one easy lesson! With the
Omisure, a clarinetist can play absolutely anything, as long as it doesn't
involve any boring drudgery associated with altissimo, fussbudget intonation,
tongueing anything faster than quarter notes or eliminating chirps between
the notes. Relax and live longer, with the Omisure!

No need, BTW, for your subsequent apology for spelling my name as "Lilia".
With a name like mine, I git lottz of practis im varyant spehlings n
pronounciatiums, not to menshun definitings.

My Reliable Source (I still don't know its name, but I think it lives inside
my basement wall) supplies one more definition:

Ambachure: The embouchure of a dedicated and extremely enthusiastic amateur
musician. (Note: Please avoid insulting stereotypes, such as "loony-tunes"
and "cheapskates", when describing people such as myself. We prefer the
proper clinical term, "tone-deaf wackos.") Extreme flexibility (Note: not to
be confused with mere inconsistency) characterizes the Ambachure, easily
adapted to playing all manner of neglected vintage clarinets, some of them
differently abled, with unusual (Note: not "mutant" or "crippled") keywork
and rare (Note: not "obsolete" or "crappy") forms of intonation. (Note: The
humble flea market, yard sale and thrift shop origins of these scarce
collectibles notwithstanding, please avoid hurtful, derogatory epithets --
such as "beaters" and "junk" -- when describing them.)

;-)
Lelia
(Rhymes with last 3 syllables of "necrophilia".)

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