Klarinet Archive - Posting 000607.txt from 1999/07

From: "Kevin Fay (LCA)" <kevinfay@-----.com>
Subj: RE: [kl] Re: Hack repairs
Date: Mon, 19 Jul 1999 20:13:17 -0400

Christopherhill@-----.net related:

>>>I also made the mistake of explaining to a father that I flattened out
the table of his son's mouthpiece. After I left, he took a look at it, and
noticed that there was still this curve at the tip, so he continued
flattening it until the facing was completely removed! Obviously, he needed
to buy another mouthpiece. Whenever I work on a student's mouthpiece, I
always begin with, "Kids, don't try this at home."<<<

This could have been my Dad--well, almost. In the interest of full
disclosure, I have to tell you that my Dad WAS a "rocket scientist"--proving
that rocket scientists are not that smart, perhaps. He was a pretty good
engineer, and understood manufacturing. (An example--when my 1971 Plymouth
burned a valve, he moseyed into his garage and made a replacement. Said it
saved time from going to the parts store).

I remember the day my R-13 arrived in the mail from Sam Ash (hey, it was
only $325, less than half of what the stores charged in 1976). It was--and
is--a terrific clarinet. I was happier than a clam at high tide. My
father, noting my glee, proceeded to "inspect" the instrument.

Fortunately, he didn't actually do anything to it, other than let me know
that it CERTAINLY wasn't built the way Bill Boeing would have done it.
According to my Dad, while an artistic triumph, the clarinet is an
engineering flop. He was astonished that the joints are held together by
friction and (gulp) cork--and that one had to rub Crisco on so they don't
bind too tightly. Manufacturing tolerances could only be so stable on a
piece of wood. None of the mechanisms have bearings. The pads are made out
of . . . sheep intestine. And on and on and on.

I have no doubt that if you had given my Dad a "proper" development budget
(say, about the same as the Saturn V rocket booster or a really fine nuclear
missile) he and his buddies at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory would come up
with a clarinet that's really . . . interesting.

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