Klarinet Archive - Posting 000640.txt from 1999/05

From: LeliaLoban@-----.com
Subj: [kl] Floating witches and clarinets
Date: Fri, 14 May 1999 18:41:47 -0400

Apropos of "clarinet blowout," Dan Leeson wrote,
>>Show me the data that support that assertion, please. To me it is about at
the level of scientific accuracy as the view that witches did not float in
water. Everybody knew that to be true, of course.>>

Everyone knew the reverse, actually: Witches floated. Good people didn't.
Therefore, if the suspect floated, the court dried her out and burned her (or
him) at the stake, or killed the "witch" in some other way and burned the
corpse. (All those executed in Salem were hanged or pressed to death.) If
someone demonstrated non-witchiness by sinking and drowning, at least the
body got buried in hallowed ground.

One example: Matthew Hopkins, who gave himself the title of "Witch-Finder
General," persecuted suspected witches in England in the mid-seventeenth
century. Among many other tests, "his favorite method was to tie the thumb
of the right hand close to the great toe of the left foot, and draw them
through a river or pond; if they floated, as they would be likely to do,
while their heavier limbs were thus sustained and upborne by the rope, it was
considered as conclusive proof of their guilt. This monster was encouraged
and sanctioned by the government; and he procured the death, in one year and
one county, of more than three times as many as suffered in Salem during the
whole delusion." (Charles W. Upham, _Salem Witchcraft_, first published 1867,
reprinted in two volumes by Corner House Publishers, 1971, Vol. 1, p. 351.)

Now Shadow Cat wants to find out if clarinets float. She's convinced that
the witchcraft tribunals (run by mere humans) got the role of the cats
backwards. Her Majesty is in a royal snit because I've been working on that
Selmer Barbier, finally. Instead of playing music, I've been playing "find
the leaks." This involves quite a lot of squeaking and hooting, bound to
evoke *some* sort of demons, so she's been looking for them along the top of
the bedroom curtain rod and in other interesting places.

Lelia
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Of course we jump over the fire naked. Jumping over it with clothes on is
much too dangerous!"
--Christopher Lee as Lord Summerisle, in "The Wicker Man."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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