Klarinet Archive - Posting 000245.txt from 1999/05

From: "Mark Charette" <charette@-----.org>
Subj: Re: [kl] Coughy, or ti?
Date: Sat, 8 May 1999 17:46:33 -0400

Kaos in ce Klasrum

By Dolton Edwards

You must have often thought English spelling is harder than need be.
Just look at words like cough, plough, rough, through, and thorough.
YThe great writer Bernard Shaw wanted us to change our alphabet. Here's
one way of doing it.

In the first year, for example, we would suggest using "s" instead of
soft "c". Sertainly all students in all sities of the land would reseive
this news with joy.

Then the hard "c" would be replased by "k,", sinse both letters are
pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up the konfusion in the
minds of the spellers, but typewriters kould all be built with one less
letter.

There would be great exsitement when it was at last announsed that the
troublesome "ph" would henseforth be written "f". This would make words
like "fotograf" twenty persent shorter in print.

In the third year publik interest in a new alfabet kan be expekted to
have reatshed a point where more komplikated tshanges are nesessary. We
would urge removing double leters whitsh have always ben a nuisanse and
made speling more difikult.

We would al agre that the horible mes of silent "e's" in our language is
disgrasful. Therfor, we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ
merily along as though we wer in an atomik ag of edukation. Sins by this
tim it would be four years sins anywun had used the leter "c," we would
then urg substituting "c" for "th."

Kontinuing cis proses year after year, we would eventuali hav a reali
sensibl writen languag. After twenti years wi ventyur tu sa cer wud bi
no mor uv ces teribl trublsum difikultis. Even Mr. Yaw wi beliv wud be
hapi in ce noleg cat his drims finali kam tru.

Reader's Digest Treasury for Young Readers, (c) 1961
Adapted from Astounding Stories, (c) unknown
----
Mark Charette@-----.org/clarinet
"Cards by Aimee", http://www.sneezy.org/Aimee
"The phenomenon is too variable for proper study" often
translates from "I don't know how to get musicians to do
anything twice the same" - A. H. Benade

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