Klarinet Archive - Posting 000658.txt from 1999/03
From: LeliaLoban@-----.com
Subj: [kl] WATCH THE DECIBELS!
Date: Thu, 11 Mar 1999 16:02:07 -0500
Avrahm Galper wrote,
>People in Fort Lupton, Colorado who play their stereos too loudly are being
sentenced by Judge Paul Sacco to listen to sounds they don't like. The
scofflaws, mostly teenagers, gather once a month on a weekend night to hear
court-sentenced music. Teenagers must endure Wayne Newton, Dean Martin,
Navaho flute music, bagpipes and John Denver songs. On one occasion they had
to sit through one of Judge Sacco's own jazz composition "I'm sleeping in my
Car".>
LOL! Makes me imagine *why* a judge might have to sleep in his car. Does his
family make his clarinet or trumpet or whatever it is sleep out there with
him?
At least the Fort Lupton scofflaws only have to serve Judge Sacco's sentences
one night a month. Wonder what kinds of Muzak a devilish DJ pipes into all
the rooms in Musical Hell? The Muzak runs 24 hrs. a day, of course, and
there's no way to turn it off. There are no ear plugs in Hell.
Clarinetists' Hell: random squeaks, chirps, honks and grunts
Serialist Composers' Hell: nothing but Tchaikovsky and Johann Strauss
Nazi Composers' Hell: "The Music Survives" (London 452 664-2) on continuous
loop
Organists' Hell: Bach's Passacaglia and Fugue in C Minor, on an electro-
pneumatic organ with four manuals and full pedal board, but only one stop on
each: Settima 1-1/7' on the Great, Nasardo 2-2/3' on the Positive, Flageoletta
2' on the Swell, Unda Maris on the Choir and Sopra-Ottava 4' on the Pedal.
Plus Tremolante, of course.
Very Special Room in Hell for Drummers: Absolute silence. Thanks to the
Soundproofing from Hell, they can't even hear themselves belch.
Lelia
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