Klarinet Archive - Posting 001111.txt from 1999/01
From: TOM RIDENOUR <klarinet@-----.net>
Subj: [kl] good news for us hefty, frustrated clarinetophiles
Date: Wed, 20 Jan 1999 22:52:20 -0500
Beer & ice cream diet
As we all know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree
centigrade. Translated into meaningful terms, this means that if you eat a
very cold dessert (generally consisting of water in large part), the natural
processes which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during the
digestive cycle literally sucks the calories out of the only available
source: your body fat.
For example, a dessert served and eaten at near 0 degrees C(32.2 deg. F)
will in a short time be raised to the normal body temperature of37 degrees C
(98.6 deg. F). For each gram of dessert eaten, that process takes
approximately 37 calories as stated above. The average dessert portion is 6
oz, or 168 grams. Therefore, by operation of thermodynamic law, 6,216
calories(1 cal/gm/deg. x 37 deg. x 168 gms) are extracted from body fat as
the dessert's temperature is normalized.
Allowing for the 1,200 latent calories in the dessert, the net calorie loss
is approximately 5,000 calories.
Obviously, the more cold dessert you eat, the better off you are and the
faster you will lose weight, if that is your goal.
This process works equally well when drinking very cold beer in frosted
glasses. Each ounce of beer contains 16 latent calories, but extracts 1,036
calories (6,216 cal. per 6 oz. portion) in the temperature normalizing
process. Thus, the net calorie loss per ounce of beer is 1,020 calories.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to calculate that 12,240 calories (12 oz.
x 1,020 cal./oz.) are extracted from the body in the process of drinking a
can of beer.
Frozen desserts, e.g., ice cream, are even more beneficial, since it takes
83 cal./gm to melt them (i.e., raise them to 0 deg. C) and an additional 37
cal./gm to further raise them to body temperature. The results here are
really remarkable, and it beats running hands down.
Unfortunately, for those who eat pizza as an excuse to drink beer, pizza
(loaded with latent calories and served above body temperature) induces an
opposite effect.
But, thankfully, as the astute reader should have already reasoned, the
obvious solution is to drink a lot of beer with pizza and follow up
immediately with large bowls of ice cream.
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