Klarinet Archive - Posting 001233.txt from 1998/12

From: LeliaLoban@-----.com
Subj: [kl] intonation training
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1998 22:42:12 -0500

Bill Hausmann wrote,

<<<Piano is pretty hard to tune to because of the richness in harmonics and
decaying tone as the note is held. There is nothing much you can do about
drummers!>>>

Kevin Fay added,
<<Incidentally, here out West we do have a remedy for drummers. (They're
called "shotguns"). <g>>>

Apropos of which....

One Saturday night, Squealy Fidgit, first clarinetist in the Slumpville Town
Hall Marching Mastodons, ran his car up over the curb, stumbled into the
corner bar, sagged down on a stool and proceeded to knock back eight Scotches
in two hours, before the bartender told him he'd had enough. On his way out of
the bar, Squealy staggered into a pretty good guitar picker, Elvis Bogg, the
beat cop, who'd just gone off duty and was on his way into the bar for a
nightcap.

Elvis said, "Squealy, yer a disgrace."

Squealy blurted out, "It's worse than you think. I done a bad day's work
today. Officer Elvis, I got to confess something. Something awful."

Elvis groaned and rolled his eyes. "Now what?"

Squealy said, "I done shot a drummer." He keeled forward with his head on the
cop's shoulder and started to sob.

Elvis shoved Squealy away and said, "Get offa me, ya ape." Elvis reached into
his pocket. "Yeah, that's a sorry day's work, all right, but ya still got an
hour left before midnight to redeem yerself. Here." He handed Squealy a ten
dollar bill. "Plenty of drummers at the Jazz Palace. Go down there and kill
me ten more."

Lelia
(Paraphrase of an old Celtic joke that originally had to do with killing
bodhran drummers.)

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